Why Do We Always Want Easy?

 This is really strange because I started this study - at the study part. You know I had a title, a little introduction, a bit of study and then a comment on the bit of study and some more study. THEN I wrote something that I'm actually going to take and place right after this new introduction- just because I feel led to do so. I know a lot of you don't believe as I do, and I'd never ever try to force any of my beliefs on you, never, but please take a moment right now to say a little prayer - Acknowledge God so He will direct your path. I know I pray that prayer daily!

(The following was written after a bit of studying as mentioned above-)

((Please, if your head is spinning a bit with all this information, take a deep breath and say a little prayer and review it. Keep reviewing it- this is a STUDY. 

Do you remember having to study when you were in school? It wasn’t always easy. Do you ever remember having a question on a test or homework paper where you had access to the book to find your answers but you had to read to find that answer, you had to study to find that answer- it wasn't just given to you. Sometimes even when you read an answer it didn't quite click and you had to go to a teacher for a deeper explanation. Then there were times when the teacher didn't want to 'give' you an answer but wanted you to think about it for a while and have you try to really figure it out yourself.  If all that happens with secular knowledge, how much more should we apply it to studying God's word? Do we give up because we get confused? Do we call it all nonsense because we don't want to spend actual time - real time- hours even if necessary, or days, weeks, months, dare I say, years, figuring things out. We live in a world where we want easy answers. We want our answers to be just a click away. We want those answer to be soothing to our ears and easily understandable in our brains so we don't have to think about them too hard. We want to agree with something readily- not struggle a bit as we search for the real answer behind any preconceived beliefs. The EASY way is often the wrong way, yet so many insist on still taking that easy way. For some reason people believe they can take the easy way and for them it won't lead down the path of destruction. They think they'll go down the easy way and only at the last moment they'll make that jump to the hard way that is narrow. They are sure in their minds they'll find that narrow path before it's too late and be able to make the switch. Or tragically, Satan deceives many to make them think they are already on the narrow way, simply because they've erected the sign post "Narrow Way" in their minds but it's pointed the wrong way. Satan deceives us so easily because we like things to be easy. Why do we love easy all the time? Why? When something is hard and causes us consternation as we strive to make sense of it, we grow frustrated, sometimes very, very quickly. Isn't eternal life worth any struggle we may have? God tells us to search the scriptures… SEARCH them! And to STUDY! Search and study! Daily search! Daily study! Paul praises those in Berea because they searched the scriptures DAILY- and they didn't have google, or a Bible on their phone with easy access to every word in Scripture, all sorts of commentaries, dictionaries, access to original Greek and Hebrew. They didn't have access at their fingertips to so much that we do and yet they STUDIED daily! They didn't have it easy! They were not on that easy road at all. The Holy Spirit was guiding them just as the Holy Spirit will guide us, if we are WILLING to walk the narrow way and not expect easy milk to fill our baby bellies so we don't have to bother with the hard meat even though we have adult teeth to chew with. I'm NOT asking you to take this man's word for things, this Biblical scholar's deep study into the meaning of Greek/Hebrew and so on. I'm asking you to SEARCH for yourself, rightly divide the Word of God yourself! Don't believe me! Think I'm crazy and easily led astray if you want to. Scoff at my beliefs as being ludicrous and totally wrong, but do so because you've searched for yourself to find truth. Don't just rely on things you've been taught over the years to believe are true. Don't take other people's studies and claim them as yours because it's easy to do so. I'm not asking you to learn fluid Greek, Hebrew, Latin and so on, but you don't have to be fluent to seek out the basics for yourself- not in our day and age, not at all. There will be NO excuse for not knowing truth, none! Many people are going to point fingers at their preachers and teachers and say they were the ones who led them astray. Just like Adam and Eve pointed the finger at the serpent. Unlike Adam and Eve, you and I have no one to truly blame but ourselves - we know that Satan would keep us from knowing truth. We can't point at others and say they led us astray - we know we have to know truth for ourselves! God help us all!  We'll pick up this study tomorrow, there is so much to digest - but first we have to put the spiritual food into our mouths, chew it slowly and thoroughly, swallow and let it digest- right? So go over the beginning of this study several times if you need to. Go to your google searches and seek out the FACTS, open the Word of God and SEARCH the Scriptures for in them you think you have ETERNAL LIFE-they TESTIFY of JESUS!  May He bless us! May the Holy Spirit guide us! May the Father's will be done!

2Ti 2:15  Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 

Joh 5:39  Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me

Act 17:11  These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. 

*******

(Start of original study before the second introduction.) 

The Holy Spirit.  

What exactly do we know about the Holy Spirit?  Let's go to the Word of God. Did you know that the Word of God was inspired by God, and that prophets could only prophesize as they were led by the Holy Spirit? The very words we read were in fact a part of the Holy Spirit.

2Pe 1:20  Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. 

2Pe 1:21  For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost. 

2Ti 3:16  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 

2Ti 3:17  That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. 

Jesus told us through the INSPIRED word, men writing led by God-

Joh 14:15  If ye love me, keep my commandments. 

Joh 14:16  And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter (Paraclete), that he may abide with you for ever; 

Joh 14:17  Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. 

Joh 14:18  I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

The Father God, Jesus God prayed to Him, that the Father would GIVE us another (one other than Jesus Himself) Comforter. This other one that would come to comfort us as Jesus came to do in person, in the flesh, would be the SPIRIT of truth. This Spirit of truth could NOT be received by the world. The worldly just would NOT see HIM and would not know HIM, but WE would know HIM for HE would DWELL WITH US, and HE would be IN US. Jesus would NOT leave us without comfort. 

Joh 14:26  But the Comforter (Paraclete), which is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. 

Joh 14:27  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

The Holy Comforter is the HOLY SPIRIT- and God the Father would send the HOLY SPIRIT to us in the name of JESUS.  The Holy Spirit would TEACH us all things, and bring all thing to our remembrance- whatsoever JESUS has said. Jesus would be leaving His PEACE with us, giving His PEACE to us and it will NOT be as the world gives peace.  

Joh 15:26  But when the Comforter (Paraclete) is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me: 

Joh 15:27  And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning. 

The HOLY SPIRIT will testify of JESUS.

Joh 16:7  Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter (Paraclete) will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

IF Jesus never died, if He never rose from the dead and the left to live in Heaven the Holy Spirit would NOT come to us. Jesus would send HIM to us. The Father would give the Holy Spirit, Jesus would send the Holy Spirit. 

Thayer's Bible Dictionary has this to say- 

Par·a·clete

/ˈperəˌklēt/

noun

1. (in Christian theology) the Holy Spirit as advocate or counselor (John 14:16, 26).

paraklētos

par-ak'-lay-tos

An intercessor, consoler: - advocate, comforter.

Total KJV Occurrences: 5

comforter, 4

Joh_14:16, Joh_15:26 (2), Joh_16:7

advocate, 1

1Jn_2:1

Thayer Definition:

1) summoned, called to one’s side, especially called to one’s aid

1a) one who pleads another’s cause before a judge, a pleader, counsel for defense, legal assistant, an advocate

1b) one who pleads another’s cause with one, an intercessor

1b1) of Christ in his exaltation at God’s right hand, pleading with God the Father for the pardon of our sins

1c) in the widest sense, a helper, succourer, aider, assistant

1c1) of the Holy Spirit destined to take the place of Christ with the apostles (after his ascension to the Father), to lead them to a deeper knowledge of the gospel truth, and give them divine strength needed to enable them to undergo trials and persecutions on behalf of the divine kingdom

Part of Speech: noun masculine

paraklētos

5x: one called or sent for to assist another; an advocate, one who pleads the cause of another, 1Jn_2:1; genr. one present to render various beneficial service, and thus the Paraclete, whose influence and operation were to compensate for the departure of Christ himself, Joh_14:16; Joh_14:26; Joh_15:26; Joh_16:7.

Now, let's study this in greater depth. If you've had enough milk children and want to grow in knowledge into adulthood- here is some meat of the Word of God. A lot of food for thought. I will most likely be pausing and interjecting my own comments in the following study and as I do I will put them in double parenthesis' this way it won't interfere should there be other parenthesis. 

 

(WWN) A Biblical Scholar's Work- 

ANOTHER COMFORTER  

(Part One)

The designation of the Spirit of truth as "Another Comforter" reveals as no other name could, His relationship with Deity, and His work and ministry in the Plan of Redemption. But much study must precede the significance of this name since this designation was not given the Holy Spirit till one of the last books of the New Testament was written.

In reviewing the Seminar studies presented on the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit at the Adventist Laymen's Annual Fellowship, the reader needs to clearly understand the preparation behind the presentation. We adopted the approach of William Miller as he began his study of the Bible. Sylvester Bliss in his Memoirs of William Miller quotes Miller's own explanation of how he began his investigation of the Scriptures. Miller stated:

'I determined to lay aide all my prepossessions {presuppositions}, to thoroughly compare Scripture with Scripture, and to pursue its study in a regular and methodical manner. I commenced with Genesis, and read verse by verse, proceeding no faster than the meaning of the several passages should be so unfolded as to leave me free from embarrassment respecting any mysticisms or contradictions. Whenever I found anything obscure, my practice was to compare it with all collateral passages; and, by the help of Cruden, I examined all the texts of Scripture in which were found any of the prominent words contained in any obscure portion. Then, by letting every word have its proper bearing on the subject of the text, if my view of it harmonized with every collateral passage in the Bible, it ceased to be a difficulty. In this way I pursued the study of the Bible, in my first perusal of it, for about two years, and was fully satisfied that it is its own interpreter. (p. 69)'

After having read every text in the New Testament where the word, "spirit" or "Holy Spirit" is found, we determined that "spirit" is applied to different beings and forces at work in the world, and within man.

Angels are designated as "ministering spirits." (Heb. 1:14)

Demons are noted as "unclean spirits." (Rev. 16:13-14)

A deep human emotion is based in what is termed, "spirit." (Mark 8:12)

The perception of one's presence, though the person is not present, is noted as being present in "spirit." (I Cor. 5:4)

This study was approached with one vital presupposition: - The "form of God" in which Jesus existed prior to Bethlehem was SPIRIT for God is Spirit. (John 4:24) This SPIRIT exceeds that of angels for they are only "ministering spirits." (Heb. 1:14) This SPIRIT is immortal, eternal, and indestructible.

((I want to interject (obviously)- Jesus EXISTED not as flesh and blood prior to Bethlehem, but in Spirit form. Do you think everyone comprehends this truth? 

Joh 17:5  And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. 

Col 1:12  Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: 

Col 1:13  Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: 

Col 1:14  In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: 

Col 1:15  Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: 

Col 1:16  For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: 

Col 1:17  And he is before all things, and by him all things consist

Yes, we can presuppose that Jesus existed in SPIRIT form before He took on flesh and dwelt among us down here on earth. The Spirit that was, is and always will be is IMMORTAL, ETERNAL and INDESTRUCTIBLE. It's an indisputable fact. If this is a new concept to you then you may need to stop here and do some more study, or continue on and go back later to study and clarify it in your heart with the Holy Spirit's guidance.))

In noting each reference in the New Testament which referred to the Holy Spirit, we arranged the books of the New Testament in the chronological order in which they were written. [This review will not necessarily follow that format] This was done for two reasons: 1) The revelation which God gives is progressive; and 2) God in giving revelation limits Himself and the fullness of that revelation to the perceptive capacity of the human instrument who is willing to be the medium of revelation.

We asked ourselves why so little is known of the "nature" of the Holy Spirit? Then we asked ourselves why so little was perceived as to whom Jesus was until after the coming of the Holy Spirit? The answer to the second question helped us to perceive the answer to the first. Jesus came not to do His own will, but the will of God. (John 6:38) He came to glorify the Father. (John 17:4) He did not even come in His own name. (John 5:43) His was a life of selfless projection of the Father's glory - grace and truth. (John 1:14) Likewise the ministry of the Holy Spirit - He would not speak of Himself. He would glorify Jesus and the work which Jesus accomplished. (John 16:13-14)

((Jesus came to glorify the Father- the Holy Spirit came to glorify Jesus- please open your Bible and read the above passage.))

For one to better understand the problem faced in the study of the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit, one needs to realize the two extreme views held within the Adventist community. 

The mainline Adventist follows and usually without question - the Trinitarian Statement of Beliefs voted at Dallas, Texas, in 1980. It reads - "There is one God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, a unity of three co-eternal Persons." (Church Manual p. 32, 1981 edition) The first part of this statement is a direct quote from the Constitution of the World Council of Churches and reflects Papal doctrine. 

The other position is the confused Gotha Statement which is the basis of the Reformed Movements which formed in Europe following World War I. This statement reads:

'We believe that the Holy Spirit is the representative of Christ upon the earth. (John 14:16) Without Him it is impossible to comprehend and live according to the will of God. Also, it is impossible to rightly interpret the divine Word without the aid of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 1 Cor. 2:11). He is a power from the Father and the Son, and is active also through human beings (2 Pet. 1:21; 1 Pet. 1:11). (Principles of Faith, p. 3, Emphasis supplied)'

The very first New Testament reference written in regard to the Holy Spirit clearly declares the Holy Spirit as distinct from a "power," per se. It reads:

For our gospel came not unto you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Spirit. (I Thess. 1:5)

This same distinction is also seen in I Cor. 2:4.

[We shall use the word "Spirit" in place of "Ghost" in all quotes from the Bible.]

Many references in the New Testament which mention the Holy Spirit speak of His work in making effective for the believer the salvation provided alone in Jesus Christ. Examples of this can be found in II Thess. 2:13; I Cor. 6:11 and Titus 3:5. Further the Holy Spirit is set forth as a Teacher who searches the deep things of God. (I Cor. 2:10, 13) He bestows "gifts" as "He wills." (I Cor. 12:4, 11) He is the builder of the Church. (Eph. 2:22) He speaks. (I Tim. 4:1) He can be grieved. (Eph. 4:30) He can be insulted. (Heb. 10:29) He can be lied to. (Acts 5:3) All of these statements in regard to the Holy Spirit indicate not a power, nor a mere influence, but rather a Person.

((If you're wondering what is truly wrong with each of those stated extreme views and want more detail - again - stop and take up a thorough study of them, or wait and do it after you finish this study. You will be led to all truth should you truly want truth and not traditions handed down to you by men.))

The fourth book written of the New Testament canon (Chronologically) closes with a three-fold benediction - "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all." (II Cor. 13:14) Language cannot be clearer that the Holy Spirit is as much a Person as are either God or the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet in this same letter, Paul emphatically declares - "The Lord is that Spirit." (II Cor. 3:17)

((GRACE OF THE LORD JESUS, LOVE OF GOD, COMMUNION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT- 3 SEPARATE GODS)) 

In this third chapter, Paul is contrasting the ministration of the letter under Moses, and the ministration of the Spirit under Christ. While declaring that the Lord is that Spirit, Paul differentiates between Lords in verse 18. Note it carefully using the margin which gives the literal Greek rendering. 

It thus reads-

'But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord [Jesus] , are changed into the same image from glory to glory even as by the Lord the Spirit. (3:18)

The close identification between "the Lord Jesus Christ" and "the Lord the Spirit" is seen elsewhere in the New Testament. Paul declares that Isaac was born "after the Spirit." (Gal. 4:29)

Yet in noting the Old Testament account, the "Lord" who appeared to Abraham in the plains of Mamre said - "I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son." (Gen. 18:10) It was repeated a second time by the same "Lord." (18:14) 

In Hebrews, it reads - "The Holy Spirit saith" (3:7) - "the Holy Spirit...said before." ((Heb 3:7  Wherefore (as the Holy Spirit saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, Heb 3:8  Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness:)) (10:15) ((Heb 10:15  Whereof the Holy Spirit also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, ))- yet both quotes are from the Old Testament. 

Gabriel told Daniel that the only One who held with him in "the scripture of truth" was "Michael your prince." (10:21) 

This is further illuminated in the Epistles of Peter. There we are told that "holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Spirit." (II Peter 1:21)

But in his first letter, Peter indicates that these holy men - prophets - "searched diligently...what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify." (I Peter 1:10-11) 

Thus the New Testament closely identifies the Holy Spirit - the Lord the Spirit - with Michael the "Lord" of the Old Testament.

To be continued…

Echoes of Guilt.

 I wrote this a few days ago, after a particularly harder day than usual.

Worry for the living verses grieving for the dead. 

I never realized the extent of these polar opposites. I never knew they were a battle to fight, a war to be won, lost, stalemated? Can there be a stalemate in war? You very rarely hear of such a thing.

My life before Jerry died had become a complete state of anxiousness underneath my normal living. I say underneath because for all intents and purposes my life has been lived on a level of realized anxiety since I was ten years old. The levels have fluctuated in a cognizant manner since that age. I'm sure they existed before then, but after ten I knew the monster of anxiety existed in a form of being attacked and rendered incapacitated in one manner or another by said monster. Up until the first panic attack from anxiety (which was an all-out assault on my ability to perform my normal ten year old's life routine) I existed in a world free of the monster. From ten years old onwards I was left with a residual scarring from that first attack that has never, and will never (until my Savior returns) leave me. I'm scarred for life (as most of us are in one way or another).

Some of you might be jumping up and down in your seats with your hand raised high wanting to call my attention to the fact I believe in a Savior (as mentioned moments ago) and isn't 'said Savior' supposed to give me freedom right now from all worry, all anxiety? Doesn't the life manual given to me by Him tell me not to worry, to leave all my cares with Him? Yes, yes it does and it has a lot of wonderful life lessons to teach me that are very real. And I do leave my cares with Him, that is why I still exist today. However I cannot crawl out of my scarred flesh into the new flesh I know I'll have one day- new flesh given to me by my Savior when He returns for me. Until then I am the person I am, and I surrender this person I am to my Savior constantly to be kept by Him for eternity. I live with this balm of hope covering my scars, but I still live in the war zone of life and I'm still being attacked daily by the unseen. And the attacker loves nothing better than to keep my life fraught with situations to obsessively fear. My Defender prevents that obsession from incapacitating me completely and utterly. My Defender is a very real, live, working force in my life so put your hands down- things would be a millions times worse if I weren't trusting in my Savior.

Tell me if you must that I should not worry, I agree with you, I should not, but agreeing with you about that isn't the same thing as be able to stop something that is part of the fabric of your being. 

Back to the why of writing this deluge of self-introspection. 

When Jerry was alive- in the beginning of our relationship and for the longest time I didn't have any significant worry about him beyond the normal concerns we all have for someone we love. I basked in his love and devotion as all newly in love couples do for several years (oh yeah we had ups and downs in those years but the bask of devotion never left). That love matured and transformed even as our lives in general did the same. Then the heart attack happened in September 2001, just a week or so before the date most Americans yearly recall (in fact we just did a few days ago) the tragedy of September 11th 2001. 

Our lives were forever altered by that heart attack. That bask of his love and devotion was suddenly something that could in a very real way be taken from me in a moment. You don't have a major almost life-ending heart attack without it altering your life in various ways. The anxiety over Jerry's health as a newly birth monster inside me - began that day and like all baby monsters they have no choice but to grow up.

This baby monster stayed very small, as it grew very slowly having growth spurts with various back, neck, wrist, pacemaker surgeries Jerry underwent over the next nine years. Then the monster hit puberty and grew very large in 2010 when cancer grew inside Jerry's right lung and altered our lives completely. It wouldn't have been so bad if surgery alone was a factor but along with the cancer removal there came an almost life ending bacterial infection that invaded Jerry's body. The medicine to combat the horrific infection permanently disabled Jerry's ability to ever walk normally again by severely and permanently damaging his vestibular nerve keeping him from ever being able to balance his body on his own two feet- again. From then on it was a cane, crutches and eventually a wheelchair while his body slowly deteriorated over the next twelve years undergoing more surgeries of the heart bypass, back, neck, wrist, arm, gallbladder, and so on, kind.  During the next twelve years that pubescent anxiety monster in me continued to grow as Jerry's health continued to deteriorate.  On year 11 of those 12, things took a major turn for the extreme worst- that was May 2021 and the last back surgery that stripped Jerry of His ability to stand upright even with assistance props (crutches, walkers) for more than a few seconds.  

The anxiety monster in my life lived underneath the surface for the most part where it existed relentlessly. There were outside evidences of it breaking through off and on over the next year as it grew and grew and grew, you know these anxiety monsters can rival the size of …well… there is little to compare them too in all honesty. I think of a tapeworm actually. I know, EW! But I've had the unfortunate opportunity to see on a television medical drama where a doctor extracts a tapeworm from someone and I thought they'd never stop pulling that awful, gross thing out (I really didn't watch it all I had to look away it was just too gross for me).  How something that long could live inside a small body just baffled me and yet anxiety is like that --something so huge inside, constantly growing while we go about our normal day to day lives with the occasional ache and pain from its unseen presence. 

Again, why am I babbling on so? Because as I stated in my very first sentence way back up there- 'Worry for the living verses grieving for the dead'.  

I feel such shame inside over the death - not of Jerry - but of that Jerry labeled anxiety monster which lived inside me for so incredibly long. With Jerry's dying that huge indescribably monstrous anxiety over his health, over not being able to do anything at all to really help him get better, over watching him suffer so horrifically day after day with the groans of pain and eyes filled with agony unspoken- that part of me which feared  and worried about all that was going on combined with the tragedy of helplessness to alter anything at all- was forever silenced. Jerry was no longer here, I no longer had to be anxious for him, or over him in any way.

When a monster inside you dies the relief is overwhelming, but combine that relief with the HORROR of the grief monster that takes its place and you live a life of intense confusion, as the battle inside ensues. The ghost of that monster anxiety versus the newly created instantly born huge grief creature has created a war zone within me. How dare I feel anything remotely like relief in any way whatsoever!!! Grief screams this at me over and over and over.  And while the death of the anxiety monster within is but an echo, like the phoenix rising from ashes analogy, death has spawned a new creature struggling to grow, to replace the Jerry anxiety monster with the widow monster and all its many little (not so little) anxiety babies.

Still, that echo of guilt over the relief of the death of the anxiety monster that lived while Jerry lived taunts me whenever it can, uncaring that new anxiety babies have been born. Echoes of guilt.. 

And life goes on with the echoes ringing all around. Caregiver's guilt- it's a real thing. Though I'm sure there are many names for the guilts we feel- warranted or not. And like telling the anxiety scarred person not to feel anxious at all, you can tell me not to feel this shame, this guilt, that Jerry wouldn't want me to feel this way- I know that's true, but it remains underneath the surface. Your well-meaning, loving, kind words are always appreciated and loved, never shunned or unwanted, never. Just love me in the place I am, with the monsters that plague me, pray for my continued love of God always.

Would I embrace that anxiety monster that lived when Jerry lived, and welcome that monster back if it meant Jerry was still living? YES! However, that's only extreme selfishness on my part, because Jerry's suffering lived with him and I find solace in knowing he's in no more pain at all whatsoever.  

I'll continue to live with all my anxieties underneath the surface of my life, I know that's how so many of us humans live because of the sin-filled world we live in now. I will cling to my Savior constantly grabbing hold of Him - a life preserver tossed to me sometimes hourly as the murky, storm tossed waters exists all around me. Jesus is my life, Jesus is my hope, Jesus is my all in all, and it will be HIS LOVE that casts out all fear, all anxiety. The Christian armor we are given to wear in this spiritual battle we fight is there for a reason- it's not to transport us out of the war zone but to protect us from being mortally wounded while we are within it. 

1Jn 4:18  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 

No fear in God - He is perfect love, complete love.

God casts out fear.

Fear has torment.

The fearful - the untrusting, the unhopeful, those lost to fear without hope, those who only exist in fear and nothing more, cannot be made complete in God because God gives us the hope of life beyond all fear. God is the monster slayer of anxiety and fear- and fear cannot overwhelm beyond all hope those who choose to love God. We will one day be made complete in God, in love, we hope, we press on towards the mark, the high calling, we fight the good fight of faith, we grab hold and never let go of the hope we have in Christ. In the midst of storm He can walk on water and He calls to us to walk with Him- we might not be able to walk on the water with Him for long, but we will forever be trying over and over again, and one day we will only ever walk on water with Him, the storm will be over. All monsters slain- anxiety, grief and all the other monsters of our lives gone forever.

'Lord, I believe! Help thou my unbelief!'  This is my prayer always!  All through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, now and forever! Amen!!!!!!!

Play Acting or Truly A Christ Follower?

 Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart.

Lean NOT to your own understanding.

In ALL your ways acknowledge Him.

And He SHALL direct thy path. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Not my words but precious words from God written down by a very imperfect man who was close to God. Don't get me wrong when I write the word imperfect, I'm not condoning imperfection. God doesn't condone imperfection. God recognizes it, but never excuses it as being inconsequential. Seriously. You may be flippant about sin in your own life, but God never is, never. Do you ever wonder why you have to die on a daily basis? You don't get a single day off from the death you must die every single day. Sounds awful doesn't it? Like a horror Groundhog's Day movie (which I'm sure probably exists in more than one movie out there somewhere- I'm not going to look that's for sure.) 

You know when I talk about a daily dying that I'm not talking about a physical death at all. I am however, talking about a REAL death. Because if it isn't real then what is the point of it at all? If we're only playing make believe Christianity and donning fake costumes, using fake props, reading scripted lines, then you do realize the ending of the ongoing fairy tale will be a very dark one and not the light, happy, eternally joyful one you think you're going to get. The ending will be as fake as all the other fake parts that came before it were. You're reading me right, I'm putting the truth on display and ripping off all blinders right this very moment. You can either keep reading or stop right now if you don't want your spiritual flesh to be on fire with the antiseptic I'm going to use on it. 

Are you an actor playing at Christianity? Are you?! What role have you taken on as an actor? Have you envisioned yourself to be the pious churchgoer, or maybe the demure deaconess, or you could be the rebellious on again, off again Christian. I don't know your role, only you know. Would you like me to stop telling you that you are in a role at all, that you're not acting? Or are you playing the part of the highly offended, very indignant, self-righteous Christian in this moment? Cuts deep doesn't it? Or rather, that antiseptic is burning into your open wounds now isn't it? Either way, cutting, wounding cleaning, I don't care, I just want you to realize that Christianity has become so often a role we tack on to our life achievements, flouting it about as needed in conversations- showing off our diploma in the graduating class of Christianity - Master's degree of course - we would settle for no less on our life's resume. This Master's degree however is in the Dramatic Arts, because it's merely a role you play as needed. Your audience plays along with you and even gets involved showing off their own acting skills. Everybody has their roles to play and they go on stage in a moment's notice, literally sometimes a single second is all they need to start their acting. You could say each and every person who play acts Christianity is an immersive actor, living their role as the show of their life goes on.  They don't have to wait for any auditions, why would they? Their life is the role they are playing and the parts in that life are many. One part, that part of being a Christian can be, and often is brought out on stage as needed. Some people climb on the stage of Church, others on the stage of prayer meeting, while still others set up benefits and charities, and some write blogs, they do this all while acting the part of a good Christian person. More often than not the starring role as preacher, pastor, priest and so on is that of an amazing Christian actor. None with that title, that office, are guaranteed to be genuine Christians, their role is just a little bit larger than your average every day Christian actor's.

Stop. You want me to stop don't you? You don't like me saying that Christianity today has become so many people, the majority in fact- just play acting at being a Christian. You truly believe you are a sincere Christian with a heart surrendered to God, a life saved by the death of your eternal Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Do you die daily? I mean really. Remember, I mentioned the dying part when I first started this? Do you really die daily? What's it mean to die daily, do you know? What do you think you know about dying daily? It's something that Jesus talked about. 

Luk 9:23  And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 

Luk 9:24  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 

1Co 15:31  I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. 

Rom 8:36  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 

Rom 8:37  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 

Rom 8:38  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 

Rom 8:39  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

2Co 4:16  For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 

2Co 4:17  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 

2Co 4:18  While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal

LET HIM DENY HIMSELF and…  TAKE UP HIS CROSS…  DAILY.

What cross are you bearing today? What cross have you knelt down and wrapped your arms around just so you could hoist it up off the ground and pull it up onto your shoulder to carry? What cross are you walking through life with, slowly, step by step, with the weight of it hard pressed against you causing your arms, shoulders, back, hips, legs, and feet to ache? Where is the cross you are laying upon the ground and placing yourself upon? Where are those huge nails and the heavy hammer resting, as you wait for them to be picked up and driven deep into your flesh? Tell me, WHERE is all this in your life?!

About now you're ready to quote other verses of the Bible to me- such as "My yoke is easy, my burden is light." You want me to toss out all that nonsense about crosses because Jesus already died upon the cross for you so you don't have to die upon any cross. What about this..

Gal 2:20  I am crucified with Christ….

The truth is, you don't have a physical wooden cross to carry, there are no huge metal nails to be plunged into your hands and feet- you know this and I know this- it's not the wooden cross we are to pick up daily to follow Jesus.  We have to live- CHRIST. 

WE DO NOT LIVE CHRIST WITHOUT DENYING THE SELF IN US THAT HIDES THE CHRIST IN US FROM OTHERS.

Christ has to be a REAL part of our lives. Our recognition of Christ must be foremost in our lives, not an afterthought. Denying self. 

Mar 8:34  And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, 

Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 

Mar 8:35  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it. 

Mar 8:36  For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 

Mar 8:37  Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? 

Mar 8:38  Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. 

Jesus called out to the PEOPLE along WITH his disciples…  

Whosoever would be a follower of Christ, would have to-

1. Deny himself

2. Take up his cross.

3. Follow Jesus.

Saving ourselves before being willing to die for Christ, we lose ourselves.

Being will to lose our lives for Christ, we save ourselves.

It is possible to gain everything in the world- and lose yourself- if you do not have Christ, and all you gained in the world means nothing in the grave, and nothing in eternity.

If you have gained Christ and not the world-  it is very visible, very well known, very obvious, highly apparent in your life. You are KNOWN to be a Christ follower and NOT because you are telling people you ARE a Christian, but because YOU are living your life as a Christian. You are not a follower of the WORLD, you are a follower of CHRIST. You are not a follower of SELF, you are a follower of Christ.

Is your life one of SELF-DENIAL?

Is your life one of carrying the Cross of Christ's sacrifice for mankind's salvation?

Is your life one of following Jesus… really following Him?

Is your life ready to be sacrificed for Him?

Are you willing to preach Christ even if it costs you your life?

Are you willing to tell others of Christ even if it costs you your worldly pride, your high standing in society, ridicule among your peers, your jobs, careers, family?

Are you willing to endure the shaming of the world, the world's laughter, the world's spite, the world's anger, the world's loathing…all to be able to live and tell of Christ your Savior and the Salvation He offers?

Honestly, for to be anything other than honest would be very wrong. 

Honestly, we are living so much in conformity to the world that we believe those who are known Jesus freaks, known religious weirdos, known to be in various religious organizations by strange clothes, odd rituals, unusual ways of life- are all STRANGE and we aren't going to follow Jesus to those extremist ways. We are going to keep our feet on the ground in the NORMAL world because do to otherwise would mean being considered among those weirdos we just spoke of and we don't want to get too carried away in our not being OF the world.  

We tell ourselves that Jesus would not expect us to be oddballs to others, He'd want us to fit in with the world. We tell ourselves lies. It's scary to think of not being of the world, especially for those of us who are of the world so much we have convinced ourselves it the being of the world part that keeps us grounded in life- Jesus is just a pastime with the hope of being fulltime one day in eternity. It really does NOT work that way. In ALL we do He has to be a part of that, because in eternity He is all in all, always! He won't give us salvation and pat us on the back and tell us to go on now, go play in the world, only now do whatever you've been doing to please yourself on earth for eternity. 

Honestly, again there's nothing else here, I am just like you  a struggling Christ follower, praying, praying, praying that I can give up self, that I can give up the world, that I can give up anything that would stand between me and my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I don't want to be a person play acting a Christian!  I want my life to belong to Christ in truth! If I were treating Christ like I would treat a huge worldly treasure known to be buried in my back yard just waiting for me to dig it up, I would be relentless in my digging and searching until it was found!  So why aren't my hands dirty with digging? Why aren't my fingernails worn down and cracked? Why aren't my shoulders and back, my arms and legs aching from the time spent digging?  Why is my life one of self-serving pleasure pastimes that I have deemed harmless simply because it is the way of the world nowadays? I have A LOT of questions for myself. A lot of soul searching. A lot of self-introspection over whether or not my Christ following is just me playing pretend Christian in a world of pretend Christians, or am I really denying self and taking up my cross and following Christ? At this moment I'm going to simply holdfast to Christ as my Savior and trust Him to lead me…   If my world is a pretend world, may God forgive me and bring me into the real world, as a real Christ follower- trusting in HIM for my salvation completely, living for Him as He would have me live! I will not give into any Satanic despair that tries to threaten my love of God! My hope is in God always! May your hope be in God too. If you suspect you are a pretend Christian, that you're play acting at being a Christ follower… just ASK for forgiveness, trust you ARE forgiven, and seek God in all you do. Hang on to Christ and His promises … hang on no matter what until our Lord and Savior returns!

I long to trust in the Lord with all my heart

I long to lean NOT unto my own understanding

In all my ways I pray to follow Christ

In all my ways I hope He directs my path

Like the imperfect Solomon, the wisest of the wise yet still so imperfect, who wrote the passage from Proverbs at the top of this rambling- I, not the wisest BY very far, am imperfect as I seek to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean NOT to my own understanding. I long to follow Christ as HE would have me follow Him, I want Him to direct my paths- all of them! I don't want to be of the world, I want to be of Him!

Please, Lord, please, all through the grace and mercy, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, my Savior, now and forever! Please, save me, save all who are searching for you with all their hearts and not leaning to their own understanding! Please. In the name of our Lord!  THANK YOU most gracious LORD, all honor and glory to You always, without end! Amen!

I Must.

 

Confession & Steps to Christ Pt 4

   

Confession. If I told you that I had a confession to make what would your first thought be? If you told me you had a confession to make my first thought would be - 'Oh dear, what did they do?' Confessions are usually reserved for wrong doings, but not always. People have confessed to doing good things as well- the confession part being admitting they were a part of that thing whatever it was.  I confess, I'm hungry. I confess, I'm scared. I confess, I'm bored.  A confession is an admittance and most of the time when someone tells you they have to confess something it's not a good thing they are getting ready to admit to, of course this is just my experience. I can't say it's happened too often but it has happened- people have made confessions to me of some wrongdoing on their behalf and they've asked for my forgiveness. On the other hand, I've had to make confessions to people myself- admitting to some wrong doing and asking forgiveness.  It's not super easy for me to ask for forgiveness from others. I have to admit a wrong doing and I detest doing wrong. Even if the wrong is a complete mistake on my part, I still despise admitting I made that mistake. My pride gets in my way. I don't like to be thought bad of in any way. Is this a trait common to most of humanity? We don't like owning up to wrong doing, especially if that wrong doing has had grave consequences. Being wrong, hurting others even unintentionally is something we don't like to do, we just don't. 

Recently my sister posted something on FB about the words we speak and I came back with a Bible verse about the tongue being a wicked member- 

(Jas 3:5)  Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

Our words can wound, they can heal, they can bring laughter and tears. Using our words to confess is something so very important. Being able to admit to others our mistakes, our wrongs, this is truly a good thing - not the horrible thing we shun because we need to feel above doing wrong or making mistakes. 

My husband was a proud man. If you knew him then you know that's true. If he felt he was right about something he stuck to his guns and there was no convincing him otherwise without absolute proof. Jerry liked to see things in black and white, with just a few gray areas. I see a lot of gray.  Both of us over the course of our twenty seven years together were right about things and wrong about others. Was it easy admitting to wrong? No. When you tend to be more right than wrong it should be even harder to admit to being wrong- shouldn't it?  Not for Jerry, not in my experiences with Him. I was always amazed at his ability to admit to a wrong when there was no doubt about that wrong. He would admit to it as a matter-of-fact, because it was that- a fact. He'd apologize if he'd been pressing the fact of being right, and he'd do so without any hemming or hawing, and then it would be over and done with.  I remember one of his last apologies to me.  I'd moved things around in his absence in the rehabs and hospitals but never did I intentionally misplace anything. If something had been on his desk I tried to make sure it went back on his desk if removed.  Just two days ago my son was setting up the tv in my room with the Firestick Jerry had bought awhile back because we have no cable etc. As he was setting it up I handed him the Firestick and said I remember your dad couldn't find this and he kept after me about moving things, and where I could have placed it ( I have a feeling I've written about this before lol)  well hours later after I'd searched everywhere I could think of and had to give up for lack of being able to find it, he nonchalantly said- "Btw the way I found the Firestick it was behind the tv stand on the desk. Sorry."  I had asked if he checked his desk, he'd told me he had. I told him I couldn't imagine not putting it back on the desk, and it was there, on the desk but just out of sight. He apologized, he'd been wrong. Did he have to apologize? No. No one HAS to apologize. We choose to apologize when we do something that warrants an apology. Jerry had no problem apologizing to me when he was wrong.  I heard him apologize to the kids for things, I heard him apologize to others, it was just something he did. He didn't feel all the mixed up crazy emotions that I feel when I have to apologize for wrong doing. Why? I don't know. 

I've gotten a bit off track- confession doesn't necessarily equate with an apology.  We can admit to a wrong doing without feeling remorse for a wrong we've done. I know I've don’t that before- gone on the defensive for all the reasons why I did that wrong thing and if those reasons hadn't been there why I wouldn't have done the wrong. You know what I'm talking about, at least I think you might.

Confession and repentance- confession and remorse- I can confess to a wrong and feel remorse without repenting of it.  Repenting means not wanting to do that wrong again, striving against doing that wrong, knowing the wrong is something that needs to be done away with not encouraged or excused.  If I feel remorse but have no intention of keeping from that wrong doing in the future, am I truly repenting of it? 

Paul the Apostle cried out how awful it was that he'd do what he didn't want to do! Paul felt that remorse for the sins of his flesh and He did not want to do them! Paul wanted help not to do them and was frustrated because he felt powerless to stop himself from the wrong. He knew there was one he could go to that would help him and he knew that he had to go to this person every single day of his life!  There was no acceptance of a single wrong doing in his life, it was confessed, repented of and there was a struggle to keep from doing it again. 

Our salvation is in Christ alone, it is Him alone who will give us what we need in our lives to someday be without sin. When He returns, He will have perfected His people and they won't even know it at all.  We must constantly, daily turned to our Savior recognizing our need of salvation from all the sins that so easily beset us. We can't cherish a single sin! War against sin, a real war, not a façade of a war. Let the heart cry out it's confession, it's remorse, it's repentance even as it pleads to be renewed, to have a new heart created within. 

God, please help us all to confess sincerely, to seek repentance through the Holy Spirit's conviction upon our hearts of all our sins- the tiniest and the largest. Please Lord, let us ever seek YOU our only SAVIOR- we cannot save ourselves we are helpless to do so! Live in us, work in us, let us be Yours now and forever! All in Your name! Thank you! All glory, honor and praise to You!  Now and forever!!!!!!! Amen.

Steps to Christ

'Chap. 4 - Confession 

"He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy." Proverbs 28:13.

The conditions of obtaining mercy of God are simple and just and reasonable. The Lord does not require us to do some grievous thing in order that we may have the forgiveness of sin. We need not make long and wearisome pilgrimages, or perform painful penances, to commend our souls to the God of heaven or to expiate our transgression; but he that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall have mercy.  The apostle says, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." James 5:16.

Confess your sins to God, who only can forgive them, and your faults to one another. If you have given offense to your friend or neighbor, you are to acknowledge your wrong, and it is his duty freely to forgive you. Then you are to seek the forgiveness of God, because the brother you have wounded is the property of God, and in injuring him you sinned against his Creator and Redeemer. The case is brought before the only true Mediator, our great High Priest, who "was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin," and who is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities," and is able to cleanse from every stain of iniquity. Hebrews 4:15.

 Those who have not humbled their souls before God in acknowledging their guilt, have not yet fulfilled the first condition of acceptance. If we have not experienced that repentance which is not to be repented of, and have not with true humiliation of soul and brokenness of spirit confessed our sins, abhorring our iniquity, we have never truly sought for the forgiveness of sin; and if we have never sought, we have never found the peace of God. The only reason why we do not have remission of sins that are past is that we are not willing to humble our hearts and comply with the conditions of the word of truth. Explicit instruction is given concerning this matter. Confession of sin, whether public or private, should be heartfelt and freely expressed. It is not to be urged from the sinner. It is not to be made in a flippant and careless way, or forced from those who have no realizing sense of the abhorrent character of sin. The confession that is the outpouring of the inmost soul finds its way to the God of infinite pity. The psalmist says, "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18.  True confession is always of a specific character, and acknowledges particular sins. They may be of such a nature as to be brought before God only; they may be wrongs that should be confessed to individuals who have suffered injury through them; or they may be of a public character, and should then be as publicly confessed. But all confession should be definite and to the point, acknowledging the very sins of which you are guilty. 

 In the days of Samuel the Israelites wandered from God. They were suffering the consequences of sin; for they had lost their faith in God, lost their discernment of His power and wisdom to rule the nation, lost their confidence in His ability to defend and vindicate His cause. They turned from the great Ruler of the universe and desired to be governed as were the nations around them. Before they found peace they made this definite confession: "We have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king." 1 Samuel 12:19. The very sin of which they were convicted had to be confessed. Their ingratitude oppressed their souls and severed them from God. 

Confession will not be acceptable to God without sincere repentance and reformation. There must be decided changes in the life; everything offensive to God must be put away. This will be the result of genuine sorrow for sin. The work that we have to do on our part is plainly set before us: "Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before Mine eyes; cease to do evil; learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow." Isaiah 1:16, 17. "If the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die." Ezekiel 33:15. Paul says, speaking of the work of repentance: "Ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter." 2 Corinthians 7:11.

 When sin has deadened the moral perceptions, the wrongdoer does not discern the defects of his character nor realize the enormity of the evil he has committed; and unless he yields to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit he remains in partial blindness to his sin. His confessions are not sincere and in earnest. To every acknowledgment of his guilt he adds an apology in excuse of his course, declaring that if it had not been for certain circumstances he would not have done this or that for which he is reproved.

 After Adam and Eve had eaten of the forbidden fruit, they were filled with a sense of shame and terror. At first their only thought was how to excuse their sin and escape the dreaded sentence of death. When the Lord inquired concerning their sin, Adam replied, laying the guilt partly upon God and partly upon his companion: "The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." The woman put the blame upon the serpent, saying, "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Genesis 3: 12, 13. Why did You make the serpent? Why did You suffer him to come into Eden? These were the questions implied in her excuse for her sin, thus charging God with the responsibility of their fall. The spirit of self-justification originated in the father of lies and has been exhibited by all the sons and daughters of Adam. Confessions of this order are not inspired by the divine Spirit and will not be acceptable to God. True repentance will lead a man to bear his guilt himself and acknowledge it without deception or hypocrisy. Like the poor publican, not lifting up so much as his eyes unto heaven, he will cry, "God be merciful to me a sinner," and those who do acknowledge their guilt will be justified, for Jesus will plead His blood in behalf of the repentant soul. 

 The examples in God's word of genuine repentance and humiliation reveal a spirit of confession in which there is no excuse for sin or attempt at self-justification. Paul did not seek to shield himself; he paints his sin in its darkest hue, not attempting to lessen his guilt. He says, "Many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them. And I punished them oft in every synagogue, and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly mad against them, I persecuted them even unto strange cities." Acts 26: 10, 11. He does not hesitate to declare that "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief." 1 Timothy 1:15. 

 The humble and broken heart, subdued by genuine repentance, will appreciate something of the love of God and the cost of Calvary; and as a son confesses to a loving father, so will the truly penitent bring all his sins before God. And it is written, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9.'

*******

A Sheep, A Sinner.

 The woman at the well, the one who had five husbands and was living with a man, not married to  him, Jesus loved her. Jesus revealed His Messiah-ship to her and she believed. Jesus didn't start to reprimand the woman about her life choices. Jesus didn't wait for an upstanding married woman to converse with. Jesus spoke to a woman living a life as an outcast because of her sins. Why do you suppose Jesus made a point to go to the blatant sinners? Because the blatant sinners aren't hiding their sinfulness behind a cloak of self-righteousness. We need to recognize our sinfulness.

I read something recently about the fact that it was a full grown sheep that the good shepherd went to find- not a lamb. That realization hit home for me. I have a picture in my front entranceway of Jesus reaching down to save a lost sheep who was perched precariously on the side of a mountain. I stopped to look at that picture with the realization it was a sheep- one who knew better than to wander, one who was old enough to have spent time learning the ways of the herd. The sheep knew it had a good, protected life under the shepherd but it still wandered off. Am I giving the sheep too much intelligence, perhaps. I've never been a sheep herder, and unless I google it I won't know too much about them, but right now I don't want to google sheep behavior. I know that a shepherd guards the sheep- leading them to places to eat and drink, keeping them safe from predators, and then leads them to a safe pen at night. The shepherd is a caregiver and protector. Being cared for, being protected, these are good things. The adult sheep that wandered off was valued by the shepherd. The foolish sheep was valued by the shepherd.  I don't know about you, but I do know I need my Shepherd to save me daily. I'm that old, chubby, scruffy, wandering sheep that is in need of protection, in need of saving, in need of being cared for in the way only my Savior can care for me. I depend upon my Shepherd for everything, for my very life and I can't let myself forget this.  The Good Shepherd reaching down to save me, His sheep, this is a constant in my life, a knowledge of salvation only through Him. The evil of this world would have me forget my dependency upon Jesus, I must NEVER forget!

Joh 4:1  When therefore the Lord knew how the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John, 

Joh 4:2  (Though Jesus himself baptized not, but his disciples,) 

Joh 4:3  He left Judaea, and departed again into Galilee. 

Joh 4:4  And he must needs go through Samaria. 

Joh 4:5  Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 

Joh 4:6  Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. 

Joh 4:7  There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. 

Joh 4:8  (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) 

Joh 4:9  Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. 

Joh 4:10  Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. 

Joh 4:11  The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? 

Joh 4:12  Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? 

Joh 4:13  Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 

Joh 4:14  But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. 

Joh 4:15  The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. 

Joh 4:16  Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 

Joh 4:17  The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 

Joh 4:18  For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. 

Joh 4:19  The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. 

Joh 4:20  Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship. 

Joh 4:21  Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. 

Joh 4:22  Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. 

Joh 4:23  But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. 

Joh 4:24  God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. 

Joh 4:25  The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things. 

Joh 4:26  Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he. 

Joh 4:27  And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her? 

Joh 4:28  The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, 

Joh 4:29  Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? 

Joh 4:30  Then they went out of the city, and came unto him. 

Joh 4:31  In the mean while his disciples prayed him, saying, Master, eat. 

Joh 4:32  But he said unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know not of. 

Joh 4:33  Therefore said the disciples one to another, Hath any man brought him ought to eat? 

Joh 4:34  Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work. 

Joh 4:35  Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest. 

Joh 4:36  And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal: that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together. 

Joh 4:37  And herein is that saying true, One soweth, and another reapeth. 

Joh 4:38  I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours. 

Joh 4:39  And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did. 

Joh 4:40  So when the Samaritans were come unto him, they besought him that he would tarry with them: and he abode there two days. 

Joh 4:41  And many more believed because of his own word; 

Joh 4:42  And said unto the woman, Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world. 

Joh 10:11  I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. 

All through the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!!!!!!! Amen!   

That I May Win Christ.

 Php 3:7  But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 

Php 3:8  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ

BBE so that I may have Christ as my reward

ASV that I may gain Christ

CEV All I want is Christ

KJV that I may win Christ

Win Christ, gain Christ, Christ as a reward…  If I told you that you could win the lottery of over several billion dollars but only if you gave up everything in your life right now- everything. Family, friends, work, past times, hobbies, all your material possessions and I mean all and I mean everything. The only thing you could do is walk into a room put on the clothes provided, leaving your old clothing behind, then walk into another room and take the billions of dollars and leave without ever contacting anyone in your past life from that moment on, would you do it? Would you give up EVERYTHING for that kind of a reward? I imagine it would depend on the life you have right now, right? If you're single, alone, living in desperate straits, no family etc then this sort of reward would be pretty easy for you to take. If you have a loving family, a wonderful career, amazing hobbies, possessions dating back several generations passed down now residing in your gorgeous home- it might be a bit harder to give up for any amount of money. There are numerous movies with this sort of theme- and inevitably in a lot of those movies the person ends up choosing their loved ones over the money- realizing no amount of money will take the place of a loved one. Real life? Fairy tale? Somewhere in-between real life and fairy tale? What you've won will come at a price, but are you willing to pay the price for what you are to win.

Could you, like the Apostle Paul, count every single thing as being garbage, as being dung if you will, except to know Christ Jesus as your Savior?  Paul did give up a wonderful life as a respected Pharisee with a promising career ahead of him. He had the respect of his peers and elders and was a perfect Jewish citizen, a God-fearing man to the letter. He gave it all up, all of it so he could win Christ. 

Today I had a little technological scare. I turned on my laptop and proceeded to open various programs only to realize that my Onenote program icon was no longer there in the taskbar at the bottom of my laptop where it has been since I set up this laptop quite a few years back now.  Okay, where'd it go? Why wasn't it there where it belongs? Fine, it's just an icon, I'll go open the program from the start menu list. 

No, I won't, it's not there? So, where did my Onenote go? It was there last night when I turned off my laptop and went to bed. I use it every single day, in fact it's where I write all my notes, blogs, stories etc. I have so much history in my Onenote- so many things - all my Christmas notes for many years, recipes, personal letters, ideas, my care taking of my dying mother, notes on Jerry, the kids and so much more. So many things I've read and studied all right there at my fingertips to click on whenever I please. So, where is my Onenote?! How could the whole entire program just disappear overnight?!  Forcing myself not to panic, panic is never a good idea, I contacted my tech support (my son) and had him come to my rescue- or so I'd hoped.  

Me: Matt, where's my Onenote?

Matt: Gone.

Me: Gone where?

Matt: I don't know.

Me: It was there last night when I turned off the laptop.

Matt: I don't know. (Matt doing all kinds of techy things to my laptop)

Me: What am I going to do? I mean, where…

Matt: I don't know.  There are no odd events that happening during the time you said you were on it last night and when you turned it off.

Me: What's that mean?

Matt: It means I don't know what happened.

Me:

Matt: Maybe a virus.

Me: Uhoh.

Matt: Whatever happened it is totally gone.

Me: Uhoh. Okay, okay… there was so much stuff on there.

Matt: I did tell you to start backing up stuff to Dad's laptop, you knew yours was acting wonky. (He didn't say wonky but the equivalent)

Me: I was backing stuff up, I did some, I didn’t know how to import those files, and… there was so much stuff on there.

Matt: I'm reinstalling the program.

Me: There was so much stuff on there, if all of it is gone… ah well, it'll be okay. It'll be okay. It's only stuff. It'll be fine.

Matt: Okay, I reinstalled it….

Me: Do you think the stuff might be in the cloud?

Matt: If you saved it there.

Me: Did I save it…

Matt: I don't know where you save things.

Me: There was so much stuff on there.

Matt: Okay…it wants to know if you want to open 16 notebook files.

Me: IT'S THERE?!

Matt: Do you want to…

Me: All of them, open all of them!

Matt: Okay. (Hands me the laptop)

Me: (Tries to open one of the notebooks) There's nothing in it!

Matt: Try another one.

Me: (Tries another one)Nothing in that one either… or this one, or…. Oh no, there was so much stuff in there.

Matt: Hold on.

Me:  (Holding on)

Matt: Here… (takes the lap top, does some things hands it back)

Me: They're here! It's all here! So much stuff is here! All that stuff is here! 

Matt: Good.

Me:  But why did it do that? Where did it go? I don't understand…

Matt: Just back things up. 

Talk about giving up all things for Christ. Talking about counting all things dung/garbage but winning Christ. Talk about my entire life- just how much could I, would I, give up if I had to, to win Christ?  You might sit there and think we'll never have to make that choice, and we might not- but how much would we be willing to give up?  It's easy to sit here and say I'd give up every single thing in my life to win Christ, all the while knowing I'm not going to be asked to give up my life, my family, etc.  It's a whole other thing when you truly do have to make that choice. Today there are people that have to make this choice. People who are being beheaded, shot, tortured, imprisoned, all because they desire to win Christ over following the ways of those around them who choose not to follow Christ. There are people who have family member killing them, turning them into the local authorities, beating them all because they choose to win Christ. They are making the choice to win Christ KNOWING what fate could very well befall them. Do you think I'm lying? I'm not. Read the news on Christian persecution, it's a very real thing, not something from the dark ages. No, it's not like that here where I live in the United States. I'm not forced to give up things and people, and my life so I can win Christ. I am called to be willing to give up all for Christ. Just how attached am I to things? Just exactly where does Jesus rank in my life? Am I like Paul okay with giving up things so I can win Christ? Keep shaking your head and thinking I shouldn't even be letting myself think about this, but I am because this is where I've been led today.  I need to contemplate a bit more on Earthly Things vs Heavenly Things and where my God is- in heaven or my own belly, do I live to eat, drink and be merry, living just for now? Or do I live for Christ and eternity? These are weighty thoughts that must be explored. It's so easy to just sit back and do everything I want to do without a thought about where it fits into the life I'm living for eternity. God wants me to think about it though because my treasures are supposed to be in heaven- not on my laptop that has so much stuff. Even without all the stuff in my Onenote program- years of memories- I should be content to have God who never fails in my life, who I can never worry about disappearing out of my life, He should be more than enough. Yes, it would have been normal to lament the loss of 'all my stuff' but only to a point. Say what you will- we each have to answer to God in our own ways. 

Heb 4:12  For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 

Read the rest of that chapter in Philippians- Because our Conversation should be in heaven, of heaven, about heaven if it truly is our hope in Christ. All through HIS love now and forever! Amen!!!!!!

Php 3:9  And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 

Php 3:10  That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 

Php 3:11  If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 

Php 3:12  Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 

Php 3:14  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:15  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 

Php 3:16  Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing. 

Php 3:17  Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample. 

Php 3:18  (For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: 

Php 3:19  Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.) 

Php 3:20  For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: 

Php 3:21  Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.