Self-Sinner.

 Self…sins.

That's right, self…sins. 

The self-serving part of us sins. Name a sin that isn't self-serving in some way. 

The ironic thing is, what we consider self-serving is in fact ultimately going to kill us. The wages of sin is death. We kill ourselves through our sins and it's not a death necessarily of our flesh. You can sin until you're a hundred years old, but ultimately the death you'll reap from all the sin is a permanent death of non-existence. Non-existence. If you think your life of a hundred years is long, ask all those who are on the brink of a hundred years of life how fast all those years went by for them. They'll tell you it went very quickly. In the grand scheme of things, a hundred years is something that can go by very quickly. A hundred years when held against eternity is absolutely very little time.  Your years of sin revelry won't last, can't last, what you believe you're doing when you sin- serving self- is actually killing you and not serving yourself at all. You've been deceived into believing your sinning serving self is doing you good in some way or else why would you continue on in sin?  Not all sins that so easily beset us are easy to sin no more, but at the very most you must hate the sin and strive against sin. A true repentance, a genuine lamentation, a very real soul affliction must be made. A Holy Spirit conviction, a constant dying daily to self,  a surrender, an opening of the door to the One who knocks, the mystery of Christ in us, this must be our life! Only Christ in us- our hope - can give us the eternal salvation He alone can offer.  Christ our hope. 

(Excerpt- A.T. Jones)

The word of Christ to every man is this, "If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself." Luke 9:23.

All sin is of self, and self is of Satan. All righteousness is of Christ, and Christ is of God.

Therefore let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, "who emptied Himself" that the Father might appear to men, and that men might be saved. Let it be in you. As surely as you will let this mind be in you, so surely will it be in you. And so surely as in Him it led Him to empty Himself, so surely it will lead you to empty yourself of all self. And so surely as you are emptied of self, so surely will you be "filled with all the fullness of God." Eph. 3:19.

*******

"I just want to die! Let me die! Please, let me die!" Venjeran screamed. That scream however was nothing but a hoarse whisper to those who sat near him. 

"More balm, get more balm," Aljudia, one of two healers called to the servant boy who instantly rushed off. 

"The balm is not working," Whygni countered, but didn't yell for the servant boy not to go. 

"Nothing is working, nothing. We need stronger bark for the tea, and more of the soothing incense. The incense will help him sleep it's the only thing that does," Aljudia sighed, and reached out with a cool cloth touching it to the suffering man's brow.

"I'll get the incense," Whygni mumbled and left the room with forlorn parting remark. "Rarnee needs to return, and soon, or Venjeran is going to will himself to die."

*

"Are you sure you should go? You've scarcely recovered and…"

"Yes, I have to go. Venjeran…" Rarnee sighed leaving her sentence unfinished.

"Venjeran needs you, I understand," Luida commiserated. She wished things could be different for Rarnee and her ill husband. 

She'd been away from him for over two months and in truth didn't know if he were dead or alive. Unless she found the Miracle Worker and brought Him to Venjeran she couldn't return. How could she live with herself if she didn't do everything she could to help her husband. Some might question her leaving him in his time of desperate need, but he'd wanted her to help him and she could do nothing for him, nothing.  Putting a cool cloth on his head as he screamed in agony, did nothing. Crying hot tears as he cried tears of pain, did nothing.  When knowledge of the Miracle Worker came to her she knew right then she had to try to find Him because only a miracle could save her husband. Yes, she'd thought about the possibility of Venjeran dying while she was gone and every time the thought came she pushed it hard away from her, refusing to entertain the idea as any sort of reality. 

"I leave tomorrow morning and I can't thank you enough, Luida," Rarnee said, and reached for the woman's hands with hers, squeezing gently.

"All thanks goes to God, Rarnee, all thanks and all glory. He brought you to us and you've blessed us with your presence. You revived the memories of the Miracle Worker and all the blessings we received at His hands. You'll find Him, Rarnee, I know you'll find Him." 

Would she? She had to.

"Yes, I'll find Him."