Are we desiring God or just what we perceive to be God's joy?

Until we look at ourselves LONG and HARD with the will to comprehend the truth as we live in Christ, we don't realize just how caught up in emotions we can be.  Let's read this excerpt from Watchman Nee's - The Spiritual Man

'Let the question be asked instead: is a person actually loving the Lord when he is full of exultation? Or is it that he loves the exultant feeling?

Granted, this joy is given us by God; but is it not God Who also takes it away? If we genuinely loved Him we should fervently love Him in whatever circumstances He may put us.

If our love is present merely when we feel, then perhaps what we love is not God but our feeling.

Moreover, a person may misinterpret such a feeling to be God Himself, not aware that a vast distinction exists between God and the joy of God. Not until the time of barren feeling shall the Holy Spirit show this one that what he so earnestly sought was not God but His joy. He does not really love God; what he loves is the feeling which makes him joyous. The sensation does in truth give him the sense of God’s love and presence, yet he does not love Him for His sake alone but rather does he love because he feels refreshed, bright and buoyant.

 Thus he craves such feeling again whenever it recedes. What brings him pleasure is the joy of God and not God Himself.

Were he actually loving God he would love Him even if he must suffer through “many waters” and “floods” (S. of S. 8.7). '

Son 8:7  Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it…

*******

We need to be able to discern beyond the feelings. God does still love us when the worst tragedies are occurring in our lives, just as much as He loves us when things are going wonderfully.  The miracles we long for so we don't have to experience heartache, loss, anxieties, fears may not appear but it's not because God is punishing us!  Our love for God has to be built on MORE than just getting a desired response from Him. If our entire relationship with God is based on His being favorable to us when we long for it earnestly with all that we are, then we are not building our relationship on God at all. We are trying to establish a relationship with a genie in a bottle, not a heavenly Father. 

When we are extremely happy we cannot equate this with our love of God or His love for us. When we are extremely sad we cannot equate this with our lack of love for God or His lack of love for us.

Mal 3:6  For I am the LORD, I change not

Heb 13:8  Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. 

Jas 1:17  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 

The Lord will not change, His love for us is the same in all circumstances and we have to believe this. We have to pray for comprehension, for acceptance, for Him to open our hearts to Him fully. If we are prone to the extremes of emotions, we can't let ourselves believe that our relationship with God is dependent upon those emotions. We can't let ourselves believe we are all right with God because we feel happy. Just as we can't let ourselves believe we are not right with God because we feel sad.

Watchman Nee has a lot to say on the subject that a lot of people will not want to hear, but truly He is basing his work on God's word, on God's truth. We have to pray for discernment and submit ourselves to God, for He alone can save us from ourselves.

All through Jesus Christ our Lord, our Savior, now and forever!