All Things.

 (This little study was written just a few months ago… I didn't realize then how much I'd need to read it today.  By the grace and mercy of God may I live to serve Him, may I understand fully that the life I live now is by His will, trusting in Him for ALL things.  

Rom 8:26  Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 

Rom 8:27  And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. )

We delude ourselves every day we wake up without realizing we wake up warriors. We do! You are a warrior! You don't have to believe it, many don't, but you are and so am I. Not a single day of our lives will we wake up a non-warrior. If we are deceived into thinking that we can wake up in this world to a life without upsets, we may never find a warrior's peace. Even the best day of our lives can only be considered a respite in our battle, not the end of the battle. The war is not over and will never be over until our Lord returns. Anyone that kids themselves into believing they have the right to a peaceful day- a day without controversy, without conflict, without struggles, isn't facing the truth of life. This life is a war. You will face many battles with faceless enemies. You will battle foes within your very self. You won't want to be angry, selfish, sinful in any way, but you will encounter constant battles with these enemies. Those you're fighting aren't decked out in battle fatigues with labels written across their helmets for you to recognize. The attackers will be your reactions to every situation you face in your entire life. The good and the bad situations and your responses to them, these are the enemies we war against. They are demons within, not the demons without. Those physically warring against us, causing us to have many difficult situations that produce an enemy response from us, aren't responsible for our reactions, we are. We like to blame others, we lie to ourselves and say if only they didn't do that I wouldn't have done this. We like to bemoan the horrors of our situations- government, all bureaucratic nonsense, our bosses, managers, customers, co-workers, family members… the list goes on and on. And while the tragedy of circumstances has landed us in our devastating positions with the truth that we have come face to face with life's horrors without any provocation on our parts, we still must answer to our own reactions. Any blame we lay upon another, is like admitting we don't realize we are in a horrible life war. This life war we live is ruled by a vicious evilness intent on making us live in despair, depression, sadness, anxiousness, complacency, delusion, defiance, and more often than not spiritual blindness that keeps us from ever realizing we are engaged in a life war at all. Every friend, every foe, and all those that fall in-between those two are in the same position we are in! They are warriors and answerable for their own responses, their own behaviors, just like us! Because we are individually accountable for ourselves- if another treats us wrongfully they must answer for that -if not now, eventually. We aren't their judge, we are our only responsible for OUR response to all others.  We wake up warriors and today I may face a broken water heater enemy, a rainy day ninja warrior, the death of a loved one archenemy, a nasty remark henchman, a rotten tomato rival , a burrowing squash worm nemesis, a broken stem on a favored flower challenger, a leaky faucet adversary, an empty mailbox opponent, an unanswered text monster, a non-returned phone call demon, a long wait in a long line antagonist, a shelf empty of the reason for my trip to the store nightmare, a sour look from a son brute, a curt tone from a husband beast, a foul word from a daughter ogre, a scratch from a cat fiend, a hairball underfoot devil…. Every single instance of upset no matter what the cause is an enemy that wants to produce a response from us that causes us to sin. You are a warrior of response to all that would cause sin. We don the armor of our Lord not just when we go into known battles. We don the armor of our Lord every single day of our lives and we never remove it, never. We keep this armor on because our entire life is a war… of response to all that befalls us!  If we truly believe we deserve to have a peaceful day without incident, we are setting ourselves up for the enemy to knock us down. The peaceful day isn't dependent upon ANY outward thing! The peaceful day we can have must be in the peace of God that passes our understanding. The peaceful day must be found in Christ risen first and foremost, because all else means NOTHING. 

The tragedies of life cause us grief as they must, even our Savior wept, but as our Savior wept He continued to endure through God the Father. We can weep and endure through Christ our risen Savior! We can weep bitterly then we must cling to the only sure hope we are ever given in this life- Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior now and forever!  Know you are a born a warrior. Know the war you are fighting. Choose the side that has won. Fight the skirmishes you face every day in whatever size, or form they take knowing you fight on the side of winner of the crown. Battle knowing one day the war will be over and we will be with the Captain of our Faith, our King, our Lord Jesus Christ!  Don't dismiss even the smallest annoyance as anything other than an attack by the enemy, and know that enemy has lost the war and only lives to try and take as many people as he can with him. Know that every single upset has its origins in the enemy you war against- and you can choose to trust in your King with your responses to the enemies attacks. Recognize the source of your difficulties, despise the demons as they torture you- mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually! There is a reason we are told this…

Php 4:6  Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 

Php 4:7  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

Php 4:9  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

 

Just Be Held.

Isa_38:14  … I did mourn as a dove: mine eyes fail with looking upward: O LORD, I am oppressed; undertake for me.

Pro 14:13  Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness. 

This song keeps going through my mind today. We are blessed to have such music to comfort us, to put into words our emotions. 

Song lyrics - Just Be Held by Casting Crowns ---

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There's freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you'll understand

I'm painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes

In the storm is where you'll find Me

And where you are, I'll hold your heart

I'll hold your heart

Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who won't let go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

(Stop holding on and just be held)

Just be held, just be held

Just be held, just be held

2Co 1:3  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 

2Co 1:4  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 

2Co 1:5  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 

2Co 1:6  And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 

All through Jesus Christ, our lord and Savior, now and forever!!!!!!! Amen!

Sackcloth and Ashes... Please.

 I Wish I Had Sackcloth and Ashes - The Roof Inspector Would Have Known.

Girded with sackcloth- put on the mourning clothes so all can know you grieve. Mourning clothes have gone out of style now in this day and age. No one can look upon me and know I'm in mourning simply by my clothing. What solace there must be in having mourning clothes on. I'm not saying there should be strict rules about mourning clothes, that you must remain in those mourning clothes for a year or the like. I'm saying if I had a garment of mourning upon me that complete strangers would see and know that I'm grieving a loss, wouldn't that elicit more healing balm of sympathy towards my grief? 

A roof inspector (for the new roof the home owner is having put on the house we rent) maybe he would have felt less ill at ease when he asked me how I was. You know, it's the polite thing to do when you see someone. How are you? Many people ask this question in our way of life. You go into a store, they ask, 'How are you?' You answer the phone, 'How are you today?' You all know what I mean, it's the question of the day for so many people. I know I've asked that very question myself, all the time.  So when said inspector asked me how I was doing - guess what I said? I said, I'm okay.  It's the response people want to hear isn't it? That's the go to answer to the question. Before the Inspector could reply I blurted out, 'That's not true, I'm not okay, my husband just passed away.'  You've heard the expression, deer in the headlights, right? Well, Mr. Inspector's eyes widened and he stammered just a touch and offered his condolences.  All might have been well if I'd stopped there. But I babbled on. 'He died unexpectedly. And, and our car there in the ditch just broke down, something with the ignition."  And Mr. Inspector gave me a commiserate smile and said, 'If it's not one thing it's another, these thing seem to come in bunches.'  Or some such very well meaning platitude. Remember, he was trying to inspect the roof. He didn't walk up my driveway to catch me returning from checking the mail box down at the end of the street, to be confronted by me… in mourning.  Now, if he'd been able to see a garment on me that alerted him to my mourning just how different things might have been for the poor unsuspecting man. He'd have known and not been caught off guard by my grief. The rawness of that grief cried out for comfort, yet to expect a stranger, duty bound only to inspect the roof, to offer that comfort was unsettling. I walked into the house in a bit of disbelief that I'd said anything at all. I don't usually talk to strangers let alone tell them bits of my personal life. It's not like I didn't have a daughter in my house to comfort me, I did and she did comfort me, and helped me with my feelings of anxiety over my own unusual behavior, thank God.  

Again, I wish I had sackcloth to wear, society acceptable sackcloth, and perhaps a few ashes to go with the sackcloth, then everyone would know and they'd perhaps give me a small understanding smile, a glance of much needed understanding, a quiet- 'I'm sorry for your loss.' There needn't be any details, but just a sharing of situation, a situation we all find ourselves in more often than we'd like throughout our lives. 

No sackcloth will touch me, no ashes will darken my flesh, I will walk about as if all is right in my world to all outside appearances. All isn't all right, I've a large crack in my heart invisible to the world. 

My Lord understands my broken heart, He came to heal broken hearts. My Lord sees beneath the outer garments void of all visages of mourning, and He knows my deepest grief. My Lord knows how to mend this heart ripped opened when my love, my Jerry fell into his last, his deepest of peaceful sleeps. The blood of a heart torn ragged streams through my very being, and My Lord, knows. My Lord sends the kind words of those who do know I'm grieving, who do not need to see me decked in widow garments. Each kind word, each loving gesture, every single prayer breathed through the Spirit to my God, from all those who've prayed and continue to pray for me- this is the balm of My Lord as He tends to stitching the wound of my heart.

2Sa_3:31  And David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes, and gird you with sackcloth, and mourn before Abner. And king David himself followed the bier.

Rend your clothes- grief so raw, the very action of tearing at your own clothes to reveal such pain, this is what David, beloved of God did and asked others to do to honor the death of a man

*

All through Jesus Christ My Lord, My Savior now and forever! All through His mercy and His grace! All thanksgiving, praise and honor, all glory to HIM! Amen!!!!!!!

His Strength.

 

There Is A Time..

 He died, I weep, I mourn, and when I dared to laugh the sound was harsh to my mourning. My mourning screamed against the audacity of my laughter, berating me instantly. How dare you laugh, don't you know that sound is not allowed! Howl out your pain, scream out your grief, but don't you dare laugh! And yet…

I am told…

It's okay to laugh, He would want you to laugh.

So why is my time of weeping and mourning fighting against the time of laughing?

I know, I know… that times intertwine, twisting and turning within each other. Times war against one another, not enemies, not really, but each needing to have its say in …its… time. My mourning joins with weeping, and laughter pokes its head inside the two of them in order to gauge the weather. My storm of grief screams at it to get out! And laughter recedes, for now, even as it nudges smiles to enter first. A small smile slips in between the tears and heart pain, and it's allowed to remain for such a short moment before mourning growls at it, and weeping washes it away. The next time maybe smiles will be allowed to linger, as laughter waits in the darkened wings, waiting for its time.

Ecc 3:1  To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Ecc 3:2  A time to be born, and a time to die…

Ecc 3:4  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn…

That Peace Is Jesus.

 

Daily Spiritual Battle.

 We, rather, I have this belief that when I am right with God things in my life are going smoothly- but only in the sense I am handling life and its endless upsets as I imagine God would want me, as a professor of being a Christian, should.  I start my day with hopes that I will be a witness for Christ in all my actions, in all I say and do. I don't want to bring disgrace to my Savior by claiming to be His and then acting like someone who is far from being Christ-like. Guess what?  I fail daily. I hear snide replies, resentful tones coming from my lips and I'm appalled at myself!  Even as I say bitter things I'm screaming in my own head to stop! And yet the words spill from my lips and paint me with the darkness that hides any and all love of Christ. Does it matter that I'm being goaded by the evil one- those principalities, those powers of darkness invisible to the human eye? Can I turn around and blame Satan? I'm doing that which I don't want to do! As the braying of my complaining lips drone on and my complaints are interspersed with asking God to forgive me, because even as I speak I suspect that I should be silent-- I do that which I don't want to do! What chaos inside, what agonizing. The realization of how far from Christ like I am is horrifying. Satan screams at me to give up, to just stop being Christ's I'll never be able to be like Him. I CAN'T GIVE UP! I CAN'T! This is a FIGHT, this is a WAR, this is a SPIRITUAL BATTLE! Satan isn't going to let a single opportunity to go by to lure us into lukewarmness, or try to drive us to despair. Satan will attack us on every side! If Satan can't get to you in one way, he will try another and yet another and endlessly keep trying and he's NOT going to stop trying. This is a WAR! And the anguish we feel is the anguish of the severity of the spiritual war. We must NEVER surrender to Satan, never. We must fight to the end with the HOPE of our SAVIOR to SAVE US FROM OURSELVES and ALL OUR WEAKNESSES!  We must NEVER call our own individual evils good, never. We must never give into them and believe they are acceptable. If I have to lament my awfulness daily, hourly, minutely then so be it! I will keep lamenting it and NOT let Satan use it to bring me to despairing of ever being with my Savior! I will not accept any evil way in myself, I will not accept any unloving way in myself. I will continue to cry bitterly, in great heartache that my witness is not such to draw others to Christ. I will pray to die daily to my selfishness and all that entails. I will pray to be Christ's. I will HOPE, I will cling to JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR, MY HOPE! ALL THROUGH HIS LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GRACE, HIS SACRIFICE!  Now and forever! Amen!!!!!!!

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Acts of the Apostles - Page 561

'So will it be with all who behold Christ. The nearer we come to Jesus, and the more clearly we discern the purity of His character, the more clearly shall we see the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the less shall we feel like exalting ourselves. There will be a continual reaching out of the soul after God, a continual, earnest, heartbreaking confession of sin and humbling of the heart before Him. At every advance step in our Christian experience our repentance will deepen. We shall know that our sufficiency is in Christ alone and shall make the apostle's confession our own: “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.” “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.” Romans 7:18; Galatians 6:14.'

Php 3:8  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 

Php 3:9  And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 

Php 3:10  That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 

Php 3:11  If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 

Php 3:12  Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 

Php 3:14  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:15  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 

I MUST forget those things which are behind and reach for those things which are before! I must press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus!  All through HIS GRACE! HIS LOVE!