Daily Spiritual Battle.

 We, rather, I have this belief that when I am right with God things in my life are going smoothly- but only in the sense I am handling life and its endless upsets as I imagine God would want me, as a professor of being a Christian, should.  I start my day with hopes that I will be a witness for Christ in all my actions, in all I say and do. I don't want to bring disgrace to my Savior by claiming to be His and then acting like someone who is far from being Christ-like. Guess what?  I fail daily. I hear snide replies, resentful tones coming from my lips and I'm appalled at myself!  Even as I say bitter things I'm screaming in my own head to stop! And yet the words spill from my lips and paint me with the darkness that hides any and all love of Christ. Does it matter that I'm being goaded by the evil one- those principalities, those powers of darkness invisible to the human eye? Can I turn around and blame Satan? I'm doing that which I don't want to do! As the braying of my complaining lips drone on and my complaints are interspersed with asking God to forgive me, because even as I speak I suspect that I should be silent-- I do that which I don't want to do! What chaos inside, what agonizing. The realization of how far from Christ like I am is horrifying. Satan screams at me to give up, to just stop being Christ's I'll never be able to be like Him. I CAN'T GIVE UP! I CAN'T! This is a FIGHT, this is a WAR, this is a SPIRITUAL BATTLE! Satan isn't going to let a single opportunity to go by to lure us into lukewarmness, or try to drive us to despair. Satan will attack us on every side! If Satan can't get to you in one way, he will try another and yet another and endlessly keep trying and he's NOT going to stop trying. This is a WAR! And the anguish we feel is the anguish of the severity of the spiritual war. We must NEVER surrender to Satan, never. We must fight to the end with the HOPE of our SAVIOR to SAVE US FROM OURSELVES and ALL OUR WEAKNESSES!  We must NEVER call our own individual evils good, never. We must never give into them and believe they are acceptable. If I have to lament my awfulness daily, hourly, minutely then so be it! I will keep lamenting it and NOT let Satan use it to bring me to despairing of ever being with my Savior! I will not accept any evil way in myself, I will not accept any unloving way in myself. I will continue to cry bitterly, in great heartache that my witness is not such to draw others to Christ. I will pray to die daily to my selfishness and all that entails. I will pray to be Christ's. I will HOPE, I will cling to JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR, MY HOPE! ALL THROUGH HIS LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GRACE, HIS SACRIFICE!  Now and forever! Amen!!!!!!!

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Acts of the Apostles - Page 561

'So will it be with all who behold Christ. The nearer we come to Jesus, and the more clearly we discern the purity of His character, the more clearly shall we see the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the less shall we feel like exalting ourselves. There will be a continual reaching out of the soul after God, a continual, earnest, heartbreaking confession of sin and humbling of the heart before Him. At every advance step in our Christian experience our repentance will deepen. We shall know that our sufficiency is in Christ alone and shall make the apostle's confession our own: “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.” “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.” Romans 7:18; Galatians 6:14.'

Php 3:8  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 

Php 3:9  And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 

Php 3:10  That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 

Php 3:11  If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 

Php 3:12  Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 

Php 3:14  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:15  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 

I MUST forget those things which are behind and reach for those things which are before! I must press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus!  All through HIS GRACE! HIS LOVE!