Jesus, Remember Me!

 Take up your cross daily. You've heard this before, you've read it for yourself, you comprehend what it means and yet, can you even find that cross you're supposed to be taking up? What's it look like to you? Jesus knew the cross He would bear, bleed upon, and die hanging from. The people in Jesus' day knew what crosses were. The crosses were visible, literal and stained deeply by the blood of many a man. Were they all innocent, no, not by far. Were some innocent? Perhaps some were crucified unfairly, but we do know for a fact that One of those who hung upon a cross, was crucified horrifically and was completely innocent. 

We are not innocent. If you say you are, then you're sadly mistaken, in fact you are deceiving yourself. 

The cross we are to take up daily obviously isn't a literal cross- if it were we couldn't take it up more than once, right? And this cross Jesus speaks of is one we are to take up daily.

We are to deny ourselves and take up the cross. 

Two thieves hung on crosses one on each side of our Savior. One thief mocked Jesus, the other confessed his own guilt and sought forgiveness. One thief was full of self, the other was denying self. One ridiculed the Savior, the other pleaded with Him. 

The figurative cross we take up daily and deny ourselves must first and foremost be equal to the cross of the thief that denied himself and uplifted Jesus as His Savior. We have to recognize our INABILITY to save our guilty selves. That thief had no hope, he was going to die that day. That thief knew Jesus preached of a kingdom in heaven- the gospel that had spread far and wide. Jesus was the 'talk of the town' at that time, very few, if any, did not know who He was, who He claimed to be, and what He claimed He could do. Raising the dead, bringing them back to life was unheard of then and still today. Jesus - the Son of God, promised He'd come again, that He was going to prepare a place, that at the last trump He would return to raise the dead from their graves and change those still living to immortal beings. The promise of life eternal was what Jesus preached to the masses. The remorseful thief knew of Jesus, just as the unremorseful thief knew of Him. 

Unable to save himself the remorseful thief turned to the only one who could give him hope. Unable to save himself the unremorseful thief decided to criticize his only hope, choosing not to believe any of Jesus' promises.

We all have a cross to bear, but we all do not deny ourselves. We choose to deny Christ, rather than self.  

Daily let's pick up our cross, denying self, recognizing Jesus as our Savior- every single day, don't miss a day of self-denial- to do so is to miss a day of recognizing Jesus Christ our Lord, the giver of our lives now and for eternity if we choose. Think of the remorseful thief there next to our suffering, dying Savior, pleading to be remembered.  We must plead to be remembered, not boast of our own goodness in any way, just our need, our complete need of Jesus.                 All by His amazing love! His mercy! His Grace! His Forgiveness! All through HIM now and forever! AMEN!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Luk_9:23  And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

1Jn_1:8  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Luk 23:39  And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. 

Luk 23:40  But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? 

Luk 23:41  And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. 

Luk 23:42  And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. 

Luk 23:43  And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee to day, shalt thou be with me in paradise. 

Psa 51:1 …Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 

Psa 51:2  Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 

Psa 51:3  For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 

My Own Dance With Grief.

 A hair. A teeny tiny, maybe a quarter of an inch (if that) hair. Your hair. Remember, I thought I'd cleaned them all up. I thought I'd seen the last of your hair, but I should have known better. Hair isn't something easily gotten rid of as anyone who has had to clean up can attest to. Jerry's hair was dark originally but as age does to all, the gray began to creep in and take over. Keeping his hair cut very short the gray was still noticeable, but not glaringly so. 

The tiny hair was found when I moved a green scrubbie up off the light blue ceramic dish it sat upon. Just a single dark hair there on the otherwise clean dish and it was larger than life in my heart. I didn't know if I would cry or smile, and then I was somehow managing both.

I miss you! Tears.

A little reminder of you! Smile.

My heart aches! Tears.

The memory of the softness of your hair on my fingers, my lips. Smile.

To never caress your cheek, or trace my fingertip slowly along the shape of your ear, never to tease the hair on the back of your neck, tickling you. Tears.

Tears.

Tears.

Just tears now as all I've lost in losing you sweeps over any ability to smile. The trigger was a lone tiny hair, the result- a mix of emotions as grief began a gentle war against the tentative peace my heart had found. A passive war for mere moments because once the tears began in earnest my heart squeeze tight on the flimsy dam erected to keep them at bay. 

The roar of pain created by the river of weeping flooding my soul was silent except for the gasping anguish made with each breath I tried to take. Stop! Just stop! It hurts too much! It's not supposed to hurt this much still!

They tell me to stop!

They tell me to be strong!

They tell me they understand, but do their hearts bleed with the cutting tears of sorrow's razor sharp knife!? And if so, then they know! They… know… the pain and are a testament to its rise and..

to its fall.

They know the dance, the moves so reminiscent of an unscripted, unknown chorography. This dance of grief is one we must create out of our own music of mourning. I may waltz in the pain holding the memories tight, I may sway languidly as those memories ease so I can live in tomorrow's memories of today. A frenzy of passion may seize my entire being as I twirl between the whirlwind of the past and present. It's an ongoing dance all my own and to each- to everyone's - own.

Death, grief, mourning, a daily occurrence for all of us. We may remain untouched by death's intimacy for many years, or it may haunt us from a young age. Children losing parents, parents losing children, young, old, it greets us all differently. 

Right now I grieve a loss bitter, sorrowful, aching to me in a way no prior death I've encountered has touched me. 

Let me grieve.

Let me share my moments of grief with you.

Also, let me reassure you…

I smile. I laugh. I sing. I pray. I worship. I rejoice. I have the peace of my Lord… all of this… and yes, moments of the deepest grief. 

I'm not living in darkness, but I descend to the darkness of grieving as a part of my dance through life, only to ascend from that momentary descent to… 

get on with living without my husband, without Jerry, with his love, without his touch, without his kiss, without his beautiful eyes smiling their knowing brilliance into mine, along with the cutest grin of his lips. I miss you, Jerry, I miss you so much.

*******

Isa 51:11  Therefore the redeemed of the LORD shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away.

2Co 4:17  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 

2Co 4:18  While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

Mat 5:4  Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted

The Nature of Jesus' Flesh.

 The conception of Christ. Now that isn't a topic you read about every day. We give too little thought to the conception of Christ. Why? Because it is ultimately a great mystery. So why bother about it at all? Mystery solvers might be able to give us a hint about the why, that old 'thrill to solve'. Is this really a mystery that needs to be solved though? Shouldn't we just say- the Holy Spirit did it, and leave it at that? I'm not going to, not today and maybe not tomorrow, we won't bother about the day after that though- it's too far into the future for my liking.

Most of the people reading this already understand the human conception process. From a laboratorical, laboratorish way, in the manner of scientist-- it's when a seed from a male and an ova from a woman are joined together. Even then in this day and age they are messing with seeds and ova and taking bits and pieces of them and altering things so that they can manipulate the outcome. That, however, is a thought for a whole other day.

In simple terms - the seed and the ova have to begin a process of cell dividing by joining together either from a natural process or an artificial one. We cannot have a human being without this process, it just won't happen. Before scientists took over things in their attempt to help infertility and the like- the only process was a natural one and this process was used for the majority of human existence. Most assuredly in Jesus' day it was the only process being thought of.

Having said all that, we now have the miracle of a virgin birth- meaning a birth coming from absolutely no man and woman joining process taking place. There are some species of creatures in our world - most notably frogs (thanks to one of the most famous dinosaur movies a lot of us know about this already- spontaneous reproduction). These species of creatures thought to be all one sex just happen to have a hidden switch that can spontaneously make them another sex in order to keep their species in existence. 

Are you still with me here? Humans have never had this ability for spontaneous reproduction, never- we lack whatever it is that causes such a thing. There was only one way for a human to get pregnant WITHOUT any human process back in the day of Jesus and that one way is called a…Miracle. 

Do we stop studying the subject now because we've mentioned the word miracle which automatically tells us it's beyond our ability to truly comprehend? No, I'm not going to stop studying it, not yet. Knowing the whys and wherefores of Jesus' conception is very important for a reason. Read the following verse-

1Jn 4:2  Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: 

Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

1Jn 4:3  And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh

is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. 

You might be breathing a sigh of relief at this point because you already believe Jesus came in the flesh- end of story, close the book you are not of the spirit against Christ. Wait a moment though, just a moment. Ask yourself this question, do you know anyone at all who doesn't think Jesus was made of flesh? There isn't a single person I know who thinks Jesus was made of anything but human flesh. He had skin like us, He bled like us, He lived like we live with all our human bits and pieces. When He was born- He was born in appearance like every other baby born- no one claimed He was born with anything but flesh. So if NO ONE is saying Jesus had some weird alien flesh, then why would we need to read the above?  Jesus came in the flesh and is of God. Aren't we all of God?  Aren't we all alive because of God? There isn't a single person in existence that isn't born because God willed their birth and made it possible. Every spirit that confesses NOT that Jesus Christ is come in the FLESH - is NOT of God.  Everyone agrees Jesus Christ was born with flesh, they just don't all agree He was actually the Son of God. So why this verse about the flesh? Was it really necessary to put flesh in there? Yes. 

I have to ask a question, it begs to be asked- the flesh Jesus Christ was born with what kind of flesh was it?

If you're shaking your head and thinking me crazy for asking I understand completely. The thing is, some people think Jesus was born with a super, reinforced, holy kind of flesh. They think this special flesh kept Him from any and all ability to sin. Others think Jesus came with the flesh that the first created human beings possessed, again with a special protection that had nothing to do with inclination towards sinning. Remember, when Adam and Eve were created they inherited no nature of sinful flesh- that stuff they passed down to us. And then you have other people who believe Jesus was born with flesh just like you and I possess, you know the kind I just mentioned.  Flesh of a sinful nature, a nature that had us being born naked. Think about that for just a few moments. Before Adam and Eve sinned they didn't even know they were naked because they were covered in the light of God's presence in their life. They were pure, they were immortally kept, they were living in innocence. In their being told to - 'Be fruitful and multiply' they were going to have children and those children were not going to be born into a situation of nakedness if those two weren't even aware of their own nakedness. The first human being born after sin entered humanity was born naked, not covered in the light of God's presence of purity. Does that mean the babe was born evil? No. It means that the babe was born with a nature much different than the one Adam and Eve were created with. Jesus was born naked so He could not have been born like Adam and Eve were created. Jesus was born vulnerable to all of sins assaults.  Adam and Eve were created and lived in a perfect garden knowing absolutely nothing of sins assaults.

Bringing this all back together a bit here, the reason we need to know more about Jesus' conception is because we need to know what flesh He was born with and have that truth settled in our hearts so we are not deceived. If you think I'm nitpicking things that it doesn't really matter if we understand all this, please, stop reading and go about your business. When I read in God's word that some people are not going to believe Jesus truly came in the 'flesh' and they'll have the spirit that is against Christ (antichrist) I have to pay attention. Satan is a great deceiver, the best in fact, and he will stop at nothing at all to get us to fall for his deceptions. In the day Christ returns and calls His people to meet Him in the air- there are going to be a whole lot of people who think they belong to Jesus who aren't. That's SCARY, yes, with all capital letters scary! They are going to cry out they did all sorts of things in His name, they are His! But He is going to tell them to get away from Him, that He doesn't know them!  How frightening that should be for ALL of us to read. It should frighten us enough so that we examine our relationship with our Savior with a fine tooth comb. If we don't think our relationship with Christ needs a fine tooth comb, then what in the world deserves the examination with a fine tooth comb? 

We need to study to show ourselves approved unto God, rightly dividing the word of truth. Those aren't my words, they are GOD's. Do you remember the Bible verse that has been made very popular- John 3:16- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Our walk with Christ doesn't end with simply believing in a single moment like some people want to imagine it does. 

Jas 2:19  Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. 

The first step IS believing, without believing there is nothing. Believing is forever first and foremost. There can be nothing more without belief. There is nothing we can do to merit salvation, that is a gift we are given. Jesus died to give the gift of salvation to all! Jesus never told a single person to believe once and no more. That belief was a living belief, a forever belief, a belief reflected in our lives. Being a Christ follower was a way of living, not a part of our lives tucked away into a corner pulling it out only when needed. A Christ follower lives for Christ. A Christ follower lives for the eternal life in Christ. Eternal life's gift isn't that we live forever, it's that we live forever WITH CHRIST! 

Yes, we have lives that call on us to do many things - many everyday things- and in all of them our Savior is a part when He is our life, when we've accepted Him. 

Does it matter what flesh our Savior took on? Yes. Because there are many FALSE Christs, many. People throughout history since Jesus lived and died have been creating their versions of Christ to worship- versions convenient to their lives. Satan has been setting up false Christ's ever since Christ died and Christ knew he would!

Mat_24:24  For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

2Jn_1:7  For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.

A deceiver. So yes, the flesh our Savior possessed is of importance. Which did our Savior truly have-- our flesh, holy flesh, Adam's Pre-Fall flesh? 

Was the Christ you follow touched with the feeling of your infirmities?

Heb_4:15  For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Was the Christ you follow tempted like you are- yet without sin? You read that right- tempted LIKE YOU ARE. 

Holy flesh, flesh pre-fall absolutely CANNOT be tempted like we are- it's impossible. 

Jesus was born with flesh just like ours. Upon conception the Holy Spirit facilitated the needed seed to join with the ova. How this was done- well, just like Abraham's Sarah, and John the Baptist's mother Elizabeth, as well as Hannah, Samuel's mother and Rachel who bore Joseph and Benjamin … all these women were worked upon by the Holy Spirit and yet none of them knew how the actual work was done, just the results of that work. God who spake the world into existence, God can speak into existence all that needs to be done and that word He speaks can be spoken silently. God the declared Son of the Father, gave up His form suitable for divinity - He removed the light of holy presence off of Himself, allowed Himself to be formed into the seed of fallen human man. He allowed Himself to be a human seed joined to another human ovan order to grow and multiply just as every other human being born to mankind has had to do. Why? Why did He choose this path to bring us salvation? If He were simply going to use His God power to save us He could have appeared just as He was in Heaven. He divested Himself, He emptied Himself in order to become one of us! We like to imagine He had some power of His own to use and that was the only reason He could keep from giving into the temptations He faced as a human being in our sin inclined flesh. The truth of the matter is, IF He had this power to use then HE WAS NOT LIKE US AT ALL! And again, if He was not like us at all, why bother with all the theatrics of being born a human being? Jesus was faced with choices from the moment He was cognizant enough to do so as any developing child and He made the RIGHT choices not through any special power of His own. God the Father in heaven was the power Jesus relied upon!  

Satan would have had a field day crying foul as loud as he could for all the universes in existence to hear if Jesus had saved mankind with an unfair advantage. It would have proven NOTHING for Jesus to use His God power to save mankind. It would not have shown at all that humanity is capable of choosing God, following God, loving God with all their hearts, minds and souls! Satan caused sin to enter mankind's world and he wanted to lay claim to mankind as his forever, triumphing over God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Satan wanted to prove humanity was a failed creation act of God's completely unworthy of any redemption. Satan tried as hard as He could to get Jesus - the God who laid off His divinity and became human- to sin. Satan tempted Jesus beyond our ability to fully imagine in an effort to prove humans were unable to be save. IF there were no chance for Him to best Jesus, he wouldn't have bothered trying- he would have just proved the plan of salvation was all a lie and nothing more. 

Do we comprehend the true nature of Jesus' flesh? We need to. There are so many who have made Jesus a liar and a cheat, a deceiver greater than Satan himself, when they give Him an unfair advantage as a human being. That's not trivial at all, and everyone who does this horrible thing will not be known of Jesus, how could they be? They've chosen to pull comfy wool eyeshades down over their eyes refusing to see truth because it might spoil their chosen way of life. God help us ALL to see truth and only truth!!!!!!!

May God bless this study of TRUTH and only TRUTH, in Jesus Christ our Lord, now and forever! Amen!!!!!!!

You're A Life Preserver.

 Our lives are in a state of constant change whether we notice or not. Constant change, never ending change, change without end- ah yes, I've said the same thing enough now that you know what I'm hinting at. Change can be good, bad, or neither- it can just be neutral, you know that unnoticeable kind of change. I think we mostly prefer the neutral change even more than a good change. How can I say that? Because even 'good' changes are in fact changes that take us out of that neutrality we seem to crave in order to continue our lives on an even keel, and who doesn't like that even keel? Smooth sailing, sailing without any hitch in the giddy-ups. Sailing and horses, who would have  thought they'd go together in any sort of metaphor? We don’t like too rough of waters, we don't want to be without wind in our sails (especially when we are motorless), and we absolutely do not want any hitches in any of our giddy-ups. No details there, we all have giddy-ups and a hitch in them only spells trouble. Change, good or bad can produce hitches and uneven keels. We may love the fact we've been given good news- a new job, a new home, a new car, a new love, a new baby- but with each of those things comes change (you can't get anything new without altering the old in some way, giving up at least a part of it). Giving up the old can be like leaving a best friend behind, giving up a family heirloom, having to start twelfth grade in a brand new high school, and so on and so forth. Our excitement for the 'good' change is often tempered by the anxiousness of change itself. Anxiety is so incredibly common it exists in the majority of people on some level. People will go to great lengths to ease their anxiousness, wanting the even keel experience of life that gives us the most calm. We take pills, drink, smoke, eat, exercise, meditate, pray… yes, there are many ways we seek calm water throughout of lives…many, many ways and a lot of those ways are not good ways, but a lot are also actually good too. It's all a part of us trying to bring peace into our ever changing, anxiety producing lives.

Change. Some people go through life saying they don't like change. Others go through life craving change- they can barely handle the smooth waters, to them they are just too calm, too boring, too mundane. Then there are some people who live on that middle ground of change- they want it slowly, on their own terms, just enough to keep their lives interesting for them. 

Forced change, this is the worst kind of change we experience. When we say to someone who has experienced a forced change that it's all part of life, don't be too upset, get over it, don't dwell on it, move on, think of better days, time will make it alright, don’t worry, we've all been there… need I go on? No, I don't think I need to go on, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The tragedy of forced change is that it tips the boat over, capsizing it, barely keeping it afloat enough to preserve life. Forced change hitches the giddy-up so that there is absolutely no giddy-upping at all, there is barely a limping slow walk. Forced change can be anything from the sudden loss of a job, the loss of a home through fire, foreclosure and so on, the loss of…  you know what I'm going to say because it's what I've been dealing with for a little over two and half months now.  The forced change of losing a loved one- be it a parent, grandparent, child, sibling, friend, fur or furless animal friend, or a spouse, any forced change through the loss of someone you love is awful.

Through my fifty-nine years of existence and the hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands- I'm not going to say millions, I'm just not, of changes that I've gone through - the tiniest to the biggest- this loss of my spouse is the absolute worse. (Let me say right now that it probably isn't the worst loss a person can experience- just my worst at this point in my life.) 

I WANT to get used to it. I WANT to get over it. I WANT to accept it. I WANT to feel better. I WANT to get my boat back on an even keel. I WANT the hitch to get out of my giddy-up. I WANT time to heal me. I WANT all those lovely, truly well-meaning, genuinely good-intentioned wishes that are coming right from the very hearts of my loved ones- family and friends, to be realized in my life and you know what, I KNOW they will happen, they just haven't happened yet. 

It's different for everyone, you never really get over it, some days will be better than others… these are all the things that people who have experienced this forced change have told me… and I BELIEVE them. 

I CHERISH each and every prayer spoken for me. I CHERISH every thought given on my behalf. I cannot tell each of you personally just how much I LOVE you and I mean that, I'm not just saying it flippantly. I LOVE that you have blessed me with your kindness even for a single fleeting moment in your lives. Those well-meant words are the way we tell someone we CARE for them, and caring for another person is something we need to truly appreciate at our very core, it's all a part of loving one another as we need to do, as our Savior would have us do.   

Please, if you've read this far through all my same ol', same ol' as I dredge through my need to write as if it might, just might help me in some way… please, don't stop giving me all your well-meaning words, I need them. The verbal/visual arms thrown around me hugging my very soul with each 'like', 'love', 'caring' and all the comments keep me grounded in a way I can't explain. Maybe because you are all life preserver for me in my stormy sea and I can cling to your presence and know none of you will let me drown. Thank you for that, thank you for not letting me drown.

Please, say a prayer for me if you can- my boat is on a very stormy sea right now, and that hitch, well, that hitch has my giddy-up gone at the moment and the horse is refusing to move except for the occasional pawing at the ground, and a shifting from foot to foot. 

Change If life is constantly changing, I so long for a better tolerance to it all. May I receive the peace that passes all understanding that only God can give me- as I go through this very rough change, and all changes to come. Jesus, leaves His peace with me….

Joh_14:27  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for Your peace!

And thank you, family and friends for your love, for being life preservers I can grab hold of just by knowing you're there.  Loves!         

Be 'Of' God.

 Job 1:1  There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. 

Gen_6:8  But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.

Exo 33:17  And the LORD said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name. 

Noah lived in a world of such sin that it needed to be destroyed. Noah alone of all the people living then was worthy to be saved from the destruction. Do you imagine that Noah's life was one of ease? I don't. And Job, we know that Job for all his perfection lost everything dear to him in any way, and even his good health was taken from him all very swiftly and devastating. Moses' life was one of great hardship as well. If you name every single Biblical man and woman of God with any sort of history to them- you would comprehend that these people of God had HARD lives. Not a single person is portrayed as having it all nice and easy. Even Solomon, the wisest man to ever have lived (other than our Savior) did not have a perfectly wonderful, easy life.  And let's talk more about our Savior's life. We don't know too much of His life before He started His ministry, but we know a lot about after He began. Was our Savior's life one of ease for those three years leading to His crucifixion? No, not at all.

WHY do we expect lives of ease? Why? WHY!? Yes, I'm screaming. We get it stuck in our heads that we have some 'RIGHT' to happiness. We bemoan lives of pure hardship- not that I've had one, because I haven't. I have been blessed beyond measure in many ways. That's not to say I've had a life of ease, I haven't- though compared to some (probably many) I have. 

We have no right to happiness, no right to a problem free life. The men and women closest to God were NOT perfectly happy all the time, they just weren't. If we make our happiness a prerequisite to belonging to God then we will be entirely lost. If we make having perfect lives a sign of belonging to God we are in for a big surprise, and not a good one. Satan loves to give happiness and lives of riches and ease if it suits his ultimate agenda.  That's not to say a person with a Job-like experience in their lives are automatically God's, there is just no perfect formula for anyone to measure against to know whether they are favored by God. 

Yes, in the Bible there are many men and women of God we are told about, and yes, we would LOVE to be numbered among them as being 'of God'. We just have to realize that no matter what our life's circumstances- good, bad, horrific, or fantastic it just doesn't tell us anything at all. We are God's by faith, not by our human measure of being blessed by Him with ease in life. We are God's if we choose to be God's in all sincerity of heart! We are God's through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He died for ALL! We choose if we are willing to accept the Sacrifice He made for us, no one is forced to choose Jesus, no one is forced but all will have to make a choice. Just please, don't look on your life of utter horror (if you've lived one, or are currently living one) and believe you are hated by God, you are not. 

God has your life of perfection in His love waiting for you. That gift of eternal life is waiting for you to experience when Jesus returns for you. That is an undeniable promise that will be fulfilled no matter what your life is like from its beginning all the way to the end. This world does not offer us a problem free life not from the moment were born until the moment we die. We need to live our lives for eternity's promise in Christ. May God help me to keep eternity in my sight, to keep Jesus in my life always. Jesus came to give us the Good News of Salvation through Him, Please, please! Accept Jesus's gift! 

All through His love Always!!!!!!! 

Temporary Living- Forever Hope.

 Warring not against flesh and blood. The snares of the Devil are a very real thing that most people would rather not discuss, at least not in any serious sort of way. Let's regulate the Devil to fantasy and horror, and keep him out of our real lives because to believe in him as a reality would be taking things much too far. The horror movies and such have done a great job at portraying the Devil as a demon with monster status while at the same time making him into some likeable, very personable fellow that you'd want protecting your back. A misunderstood sort of guy who really does have a heart after all and only does what he does because he has been maligned and given a bad break- he has in fact been given a bad reputation, undeservedly, or say he'll lead you to believe. Yes, the Devil will take on any persona at all whatsoever so long as he can deceive and, yes, he deceives in ways beyond our imagining.

When we realize that the Devil would just as soon offer us wonderful things as well as destruction in all parts of our lives, we comprehend that he is powerful in his own right and able to deceive so completely we need the power of God to defend us, to keep us, to protect us. 

The good in our lives, as well as the bad- if we love God truly will work out for our good in ways beyond our comprehension. And not for our personal good alone, but for those in our lives. Tragedies happen all the time, every single day, awful tragedies. They befall those who are outright evil, and those who are God fearing in every way possible. There is no respect of persons when it comes to so many aspects of our lives- we all suffer.

We are all simply human beings given life to give God glory. When we realize  that we live to give God glory throughout our lives in all the good and all the bad, we understand a sliver of love. All that is hopeless is of the Devil, all that is hope is of God. In the tragedies of our lives, and there are going to be many, so many, in each of them, in the worst of them, hope is our only strength.

How could anyone who claims to love another human being with their whole heart not comprehend the hope you need to have should they perish, that you will one day be reunited with that love? That hope is only found in our Lord and Savior, the God of all hope, the God we give glory. 

Your life may be filled with only heartache, deep heartache, but you know, as we all should know- this life is temporary.  The older you get the faster you spin around in the funnel of life - time running out the closer to the bottom- faster and faster time goes and the inevitable end of life is upon you. We are allowed hope, but only if we choose hope beyond the temporariness we know. 

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 

Loving God, we must love God and loving Him means believing in Him and the Hope He has given to mankind.  The Hope is there for the asking, it's a future- it's faith.  It's unseen but known as a reality. Our Lord and Savior has promised us this Hope, Jesus Christ our Lord! How cannot we not love when we are given Hope, such a precious gift. All glory, all thanksgiving, all honor to our God, now and forever! Amen!!!!!!!

I Have Questions.

 I have questions.

You have taken my answers with you.

I have questions.

Silent tears hold no clues.

I have questions.

They won't stay silent.

I have so very many questions.

You tried so hard to give me all the answers.

I have questions.

You wanted me to listen.

I have questions.

You wanted me to remember.

I have questions.

You were supposed to be here to answer.

I have questions.

Screaming anguish filled cries, I have questions.

No answers.

Breathless, I have questions. 

No more answers, not from you, my Answer Giver.

Silent agony, silent emptiness, silent answers, no answers.

I have questions, Jerry, so many, many questions.

Your absence is so much louder when I want…when I need, answers, your answers. 

Answers. Who do you usually turn to when you want answers? Most likely it would depend upon the question, right? That's logical. You wouldn't go to a child and ask a question only an adult could answer.  

Today we have our cellphones, tablets, laptops, Siri, Echo and so on to give us all kinds of answers to any question we might have. These impersonal answers -for the most part- even when it's a video of a person giving you information, or a live chat and that person is right there in real time talking with you- it still lacks something that an in person back and forth discussion entails. I'm not knocking those who believe that way to get answers is just as good, I will admit that kind of interaction is a lot better than no interaction and if you have no other recourse it is amazing. Right now I'm in a place in my life where I've been deprived of my main source of in person contact, deprived of my Answer Giver, and I have so many, many questions! Siri can't tell me what to do with the little gadget in the garage I have no clue about. Google might be able to give me a hint if I put in the right key words. I could even get a friend or two on face time and they might have the answer, but… I don't have MY Answer Giver any longer, He's gone. 

I have a thought, and from that thought springs a larger idea, and from the idea I'm bombarded with questions and then I'm slapped in the face hard enough to mentally jerk me back a few steps, He's not hear to ask! With Him I didn't have to worry if my thoughts, ideas and subsequent questions were a bit out there, He knew me from head to toe, from my craziest thought to my sanest moment and all those weebly wobbly moments in between. When my question  seemed to be ludicrous He would let me know without any wasted time sparing feelings, then He'd indulge my ideas, thoughts and questions patiently enough. Often my lack of knowledge was a source of amusement for us both. My Answer Giver had so much knowledge, so incredibly much.

You may know someone who is smart, you may be that person who is smart. I've run into a few truly smart people who reached a level of brilliance that had them believing in all sincerity that ALL people should be as smart as they are. I've probably mentioned this already, but I don't care, I need to mention it again. My Answer Giver was often amazed at my lack of knowledge because He didn't recognize His own uniqueness in his intelligence. 

Perhaps some of you reading this who know Him may scoff at what I'm saying. Some may laugh and say that He was full of Himself and not smart at all. Others may think I'm downright putting Him on a pedestal because I love Him and I'm using super thick rose colored glasses to look at Him with. I don't care, I know, what I know.  I knew one other person like Him and she didn't understand her own brilliance either and couldn't comprehend the lack of brilliance in others. She was quite shocked when I pointed out to her that most people are NOT like her, she was in the minority. My Answer Giver was in the minority too, often much to my chagrin. 

*******

We are to ask all the questions we can while our loved ones live. 

Would I have asked more questions of Jerry had I known the day of this death?

Yes, a thousand times, yes. 

At least, I think I would if I could have come to a place of belief in that knowledge. The truth is, we don't usually know the day of a person's death. I say usually because some people die very slowly and do have time to answer questions. My mother died very slowly. We knew she had terminal cancer and Alzheimer's both and that her time of mental clarity was growing shorter, and physically she would leave us in just a matter of a year, year and a half from diagnose.  Did I ask my mom questions? I did. My younger sister, Elizabeth asked her a lot of questions about her life, a lot. We asked questions of a woman who meant so much to us as our mother. A loving mother, one we could not have ask for better. She raised us with love- unconditional love. She raised us as best she knew how. She gave us so much, taught us so much, loved us so much. I had questions, but….  Yes, I have to add a 'but'… because those questions were not the questions of a wife to a husband about their entire life, and a future alone. Jerry tried to prepare me by giving me a list of his tools and such and prices to ask for them should I need to sell them. He told me not to grieve more than three days and most certainly not more than a month- ahhhh, grieving is a lifelong process in this case more than any other I've had to face.  Jerry tried to prepare me a bit, without conceding to any reality of a nearing death. We still talked of the future together that we thought we'd have. We talked of next spring…and getting a load of fresh compost for our garden… next spring, there will be no fresh load of compost, no garden. I still don't know if I'll even be living here. 

Talk to your loved ones now without believing it's morbid to do so. Talk about that gadget in the garage and hey, even write the answer down somewhere because people forget- I've forgotten so much He tried to teach me, so much.

I have questions.

Ecc_9:10  Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.