Monday, September 3, 2012

What is your life? It is even a vapor...

Jas 4:14  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
I've been talking a lot about Satan recently, about how real he is and how we have to resist him, and you  know what? Satan doesn't like that kind of talk.
Talk about attacks. I really didn't expect to be attacked viciously but he knows us, Satan knows us inside and out, he knows our weaknesses, he know the things that bother us the most, he knows how to manipulate us expertly. You think he doesn't? The next time you have a really, really bad day try to pick it apart a little and see why it turned out that way. What were the circumstances that created that bad day? Were they seemingly random? Were they perhaps orchestrated somehow? You know the awful thing, Satan loves to use seemingly innocent things to attack us so we don't attribute it to him at all.
The thing is, God will take the attacks Satan enacts and use them to teach us, to chastise us, to put us in a fire to purify us. When we are being fiercely attacked it's like we are being dropped into a vat under which is the hottest fire is burning wildly. Instantly we begin to melt and the impurities in us begin to separate from what is pure.  Burning. If you've ever been burned you know how it feels. If you've accidentally touched something that was a bit too hot you instantly pull your hand back, right? Depending upon the temperature of what you touched the severity will vary. Extremely hot and all it takes is a few second touch to burn your hand very badly, just slightly hot and you might get a red stinging mark for a bit. When we are in the fire being tried it feels AWFUL! It's is PAINFUL in a whole different way. Depending upon what impurities are being pulled out, the temperature will again, vary.
If Satan attacks and your whole world seems to have been rocked and nothing feels right or good in anyway, if your entire existence is twisted and turned until you feel completely out of sorts, it's a good bet you are in a really, really hot vat, that fire is burning wildly.
The thing is, the attack put you on the defensive as it brings out the worse in you. All the impurities are rising to the top and boiling out and you can't stop them. Suddenly you see yourself in a whole new light and yet because this is a huge trial, it's not something you want to see. You want to somehow excuse your behavior away, you want to somehow be right, to become vindicated for what you are going through. To have to admit you might be wrong, that this awful thing in you is against all you want to stand for in Christ, isn't easy.
Truthfully, I still don't want to admit it.
I want to rail and fight, I want to be understood, to be justified. I want to accuse and be given a sympathetic ear. What is happening isn't right. And NO some of it is just downright WRONG but we are supposed to put up with being despised, put out, ignored, regulated to last place, abused.  We are supposed to allow those who would wound us to do so and turn the other cheek so they can wound that one too.  Right?
As you can tell my attack is ongoing, I'm in the middle of it right now and it's so incredibly hard to even write this because I feel so conflicted.
I recognize the attack and yet it's so hard to yield to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Recognizing the impurities in yourself is NEVER easy, never.
This verse popped out at me as I started this study tonight-
Jas 4:14  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Our lives are so fleeting, we do not know what tomorrow will bring. We do not even know if we will be here tomorrow. Yet people make plans to do things that are weeks away, we have to plan, right? Yet in all reality our lives are fleeting. And sometimes our plans come to pass, other times they don't.  Our lives are but a vapor that exists for such a short period in the grand scheme of things. We need to comprehend this more fully, I NEED TO. 
God please help me, I'm so conflicted, help me deal with what is going on in my life right now. Please help me to accept the chastising, to understand the burning flame is only there to work out the impurities in me of which there are so incredibly many.
Help me.  In YOUR LOVE! By YOUR GRACE! Please Lord by YOUR MERCY.

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