Another Ride On Rollercoaster- Grief.

 Today I received a sympathy card in the mail and no, it's not the first sympathy card I've received, God has blessed me greatly in this way, but for some reason I was completely overcome with emotion. The tears came hard and fast, and I was distraught in a way that took me by surprise. You see, I've been getting better lately, you know, getting a handle on things. Yet today, well, if I'm being completely truthful, the entire day had been an off one. Things just felt different somehow. Even Matthew told me today when he came home from work that things are just hard. We were both having particularly trying days not from outside influence but inside, heart hard things. While death is a normal part of living, it's still wrong and anyone who believes otherwise, well, I don't know what to say to them. 

In the Garden of Eden, Satan seduced Eve into sin and the result was death. We weren't created to die. This horror named death steals people from us, steals those who mean so much to us. Death is vile and something to be HATED! Yes, I know it's a part of life and as such we have to accept that it is, but we do not have to let our acceptance rob of us the tragedy of death. We are meant to despise death with every part of our being. Death is a reminder of the first sin by mankind. Sin-Death closed the Garden of Eden and took immortality from us. Worst of all, Sin-Death caused a separation between us and God! God in His mercy stepped in and offered us a way to defeat ETERNAL death. We would suffer here and now, we would die because sin's result is death, but we would not be forsaken in that death. We were given hope and that hope is found in Jesus Christ, the God who died so we could live eternally. When that last trump sounds and Christ returns, the dead in Him will rise to meet Him in the air! They will RISE! They will LIVE! They will put on IMMORTALITY! Yes, I'm shouting, I know I'm shouting, but I have to shout because it is that knowledge, that HOPE, that breathes life into me right now. 

Yes, I cried today at the love shown to me in the special hand written words of that card, because those words were of Jesus' love. 

I cried and then I called my sister and cried some more. She reminded me that I'm still on the rollercoaster of grief- and the thing is- she reminded me that I'm not just grieving for my husband alone. This rollercoaster is uniquely designed just for me and as its sole occupant I have access to all its many cars. On this rollercoaster I may take the front car and as it ascends this front car named, Jerry, surrounds me completely. Then a loop-de-loop later I'm flung into a middle car named, Mom. Before too long another crazy side twist and I'm tossed into a car named Michele, And so it goes. The grief I'm going through brings up many older, less wild rides through death's past and my sister told me it's okay… it's okay to cry for them all.  

I'm no longer spending entire days on the rollercoaster, but every day it shows up and takes me for a spin around the incredible, ever changing track. Some days I'm taken for a ride or two. Some days they're short rides, other days long ones. It's going to be this way for a bit and I know it, and I don't have to like it. I absolutely do not have to like the rollercoaster designed by death. I can accept not liking it, and cling to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He'll join me every time I get on the rollercoaster, a fellow passenger I can bury my face against and hold tight to on the anything but smooth rides. He'll hold me tight always, filling me with hope. I know His promise that one day there will be no more death is very real, I believe in Him and all His promises!

I love you, Lord!  I love you, all of you who have taking time out of your lives to think of me in all the many ways you have! Each and every one of you is a blessing, and I pray you are blessed for your kindness!  

My study today was going to be on the following Bible verses- but that will be tomorrow if God wills. Tonight I had to write what was on my heart once more. 

God bless us all! In the name of our most loving Savior, Jesus Christ our Lord, now and forever!!!!!!!  Thank you, Lord! Amen!

Joh 10:1-  

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers. 

This parable spake Jesus unto them: but they understood not what things they were which he spake unto them. 

Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them.  I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. 

I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. 

As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep. And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father. 

There was a division therefore again among the Jews for these sayings. And many of them said, He hath a devil, and is mad; why hear ye him? Others said, These are not the words of him that hath a devil. Can a devil open the eyes of the blind? 

And it was at Jerusalem the feast of the dedication, and it was winter. And Jesus walked in the temple in Solomon's porch. Then came the Jews round about him, and said unto him, How long dost thou make us to doubt? If thou be the Christ, tell us plainly. 

Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.

Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. 

Little Ones To Him Belong.

 Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Did you sing along with those words? Did you mentally recite them if not say them aloud? Are you one of the 'little ones'? Do you belong to Jesus? 

What exactly does it mean to belong to Jesus? Do we each have our own idea of what it means? I believe we have to because so few agree with each other. You might think I'm wrong because whole denominations, whole faiths have hundreds, thousands, millions of people who join them and say they believe alike on the same principles of faith. It's true that each recognized church has their beliefs and those in that church agree to adhere to them. 

Yes, there are some churches that say any and all are welcome without having to declare any beliefs, but those churches still have their basic faiths. Would they allow disruptive, violent, abusive people into their services if all those people do is cause chaos? No. They might tolerate them for a short while and try to get them to calm down and be civil, but if they carried on and on and on so that no one else could speak- they really wouldn't be allowed to stay. Therefore their beliefs include at least that one must be respectful and peaceful towards others. There are basic beliefs all churches have.

One assumes a church goer is seeking a faith and that is why they are going to a church. Still, what does it mean to belong to Jesus? Can people who go to church not belong to Jesus? Can you belong to Jesus one day and not the next day? Can you turn your back on Jesus?  These are legitimate questions to think about, to ask ourselves. 

Joh 10:27  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 

Joh 10:28  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 

Joh 10:29  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 

Joh 10:30  I and my Father are one. 

Jesus' sheep hear His voice…they follow Him.

So the question is, do we follow Jesus, and what does it mean to follow Jesus? Sheep do follow the voice of their shepherd. A shepherd guides the sheep from their pen and out into the fields. Does the shepherd leave them out in the fields on their own after leading them there? No. The shepherd stays with the sheep and watches them. The shepherd herds the sheep- keeping them going in the direction he wants them to go. When a sheep goes astray the shepherd finds that sheep and brings it back to the fold. When danger threatens the sheep the shepherd protects the sheep. Jesus is our shepherd, we are the sheep who need the shepherd. As a sheep we are to always listen to our shepherd. As sheep we are to go where our shepherd leads us. As sheep when we need protecting we must trust that our shepherd will do that for us. 

We belong to our Shepherd, just as sheep in reality belong to their shepherd. You may fuss and say the shepherd may only be a hired hand, but that's not always true. And, even if the shepherd is a hired hand, that shepherd cares for each and every one of those sheep. You may continue to fuss and say not all shepherds are good ones. You're right, they aren't, but our Shepherd Jesus is the Good Shepherd.

Joh_10:11  I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

Jesus is our Good Shepherd- are we good sheep?

More tomorrow by the Grace of God! All through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, now and forever!!!  All in His amazing LOVE. We are so blessed! Thank you, LORD!

Christian.

 I am a Christian. Saying those words to some people ignites fury within them. It's true, I'm not exaggerating, I wish I were.  Sometimes the fury it ignites is so great they kill the one saying those words, I'm not joking, I wish I were. Today Christians in general are taking a lot of backlash for things going on in our world. Some people lump ALL Christians into a single contemptible group, hating them all equally simply because they believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. They don't bother separating the numerous factions of Christians. They could care less about any of the too many to count differences among Christian groups. When you call yourself a Christian- a follower of Christ, to them that's all that matters. They want you to feel ashamed to be called a Christian because there are a lot of horrible, horrible Christians in the world. Christians that have no true idea of what a true Christ follower is. They've taken the worst of the worst Christians and decided all Christians must be the same. They are not.   

In ALL different areas of life there are good and bad of the same kind, and when you label ALL of one kind bad because some are bad then you in essence are automatically bad for doing so. I will never stop being a Christian, never. I will forever be a Christ follower no matter what anyone else thinks about that.  

We can't fix this world. Jesus didn't come to fix the world under its current leadership- Satan. Those in his day believed He'd come to fix their world, to rid them of their tormentors, to usher in a whole new way of life. He didn't, at least not in the way they wanted Him to. Many thousands were very disappointed when they realized Jesus wasn't there to take up a banner and a sword to defeat their enemies near and far. They'd seen Jesus perform miracle after miracle and they were sure this miracle worker was there to fix their world, fix their current existence. Why wouldn't the miracle worker fix their world? He could have. Jesus had the power to fix the world, of that there is no doubt. Jesus didn't come to fix this world though, He came to fix the people for the world to come in the future, a new world- one not created by anything man can do. Jesus didn't tell us that we could erase evil from the world. Jesus didn't tell us we had the power to make mankind whole, we don't. Jesus wanted us to preach the gospel of the kingdom, as He had done. And the gospel of the kingdom is heaven with Him. The good news is one of salvation, one of redemption, one of hope for our future- Inheriting the Kingdom of God.

1Co 15:52  In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 

1Co 15:53  For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 

1Co 15:54  So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. 

So many Christians have lost sight of the true Jesus. It's true. They've manufactured their own version of Jesus and hold Him high, when he is nothing like the real Jesus, nothing at all. 

Jesus told us this…

Joh 14:2  In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 

Joh 14:3  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 

Joh 14:4  And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know

Did you read that? Did you really? Jesus said… IF I GO AND PREPARE A PLACE FOR YOU I WILL COME AGAIN AND RECEIVE YOU UNTO MYSELF THAT WHERE I AM THERE YE MAY BE ALSO.

He is preparing HEAVEN for us, not this earth! The earth will be totally made new, but only after all who are Christ's are raised up to meet Him when He returns, and we live in heaven for a time. Jesus will COME AGAIN and receive us to Him! 

Jesus didn't say to lay up treasures on earth. Jesus did say where our treasure is that is where our heart is. Our treasures are to be in heaven and our heart in heaven with those treasures. 

Words like pilgrims and strangers, in connection with our place on earth denote something other than considering this world our home. 

2Co 4:18  While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

Christ wants our mind on the eternal, not the temporary. Christ wants us to love Him and love others… and that love is NEVER about forcing ANYONE to become a Christian, never! Any Christian who forces a single thing on another person is NOT a Christian. I have my own home, and in my home as a Christian I can live my life as a Christian- because I am blessed to live in a country that allows this. If you come into my Christian home you would be expected to respect my beliefs. If I forced you into my home that's a whole other story. 

Christ did not use force or condone it at all. Christ taught if His beliefs weren't accepted by others the believers were to leave- not fight with them and try to force them to believe. Leave, not fight. Jesus KNEW this world would never have a majority of Christ followers, He knew.

Mat 7:13  Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 

Mat 7:14  Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. 

FEW there be that find it… FEW. 

Jesus did not say go and force the world to follow Christian beliefs, that's NO WHERE in the BIBLE, NO WHERE! 

While a broad road of supposed Christians seek to bring this world to a Christian place,  they are doing so under Satan disguised as an angel of light, not under Christ. 

May God help us ALL. May God open our hearts to ONLY HIS TRUTH. May we love as He loves with His love! May we be true Christ followers - loving ALL, forgiving ALL, seeking forgiveness for our own many imperfections and failings.

All through Jesus Christ our LORD and SAVIOR now and forever!!!!!!!

Last One...For Now.

 I know I've probably already talked about this- more than once, twice, three times- but here I go again. I was told only three days to grieve and I fought for a month and was given no more than a month. I can still see Jerry shaking his head as I fought for more than three days. Surely three days should be enough, right? Absolutely not. As I've been informed by many loved ones- friends and family- grieving goes on for the rest of our lives, it just changes over time. The initial shock wears off, and then as each new day comes and the gut punch of grief lessens somewhat. I have to say somewhat because there are days I'm sucker punched by grief as if it were the first day I'd lost him. To be honest though, bits and pieces of normalcy are peeking up from where they've been hiding and trying to intrude upon my grief. Part of me doesn't want to abandon my grief because it feels as if I'm abandoning him along with the grief. I don't want my life to feel okay without him. It will though, it has to. We live on and make a choice to either cling to the emotional pain refusing to let it go, or we choose to loosen our grip on that pain telling ourselves it doesn't mean I love you less and that you aren't worthy of a lover's mourning that lasts forever. Queen Victoria wore mourning clothes for forty years after her husband of twenty-one years died. Is she to be praised for such devotion, such depths of her love? Do we measure our love for a loved one passing by refusing to allow ourselves to be happy? I don't think so, rather, I know we aren't. Yes, I know I've said most of this before, don't worry I'm hoping I won't be repeating myself much after this.

Jesus said-

Luk_4:18  The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.

When Jesus walked the earth during His three year ministry, he healed the brokenhearted.  Who were those brokenhearted? The grieving? I'm sure a lot of those brokenhearted were grieving the death of loved ones and Jesus healed them from that pain. Jesus took away the wrong path of grief, the path that leads to destruction, to darkness. That wrong path to grief is a reality, and it's a fear loved ones have for those who are caught up in grieving. My loved ones have given me a lot of supportive advice on how to keep from going down that dark path. I need to let myself be okay with smiling, with laughing, with living without my husband. He would want that for me. I know it for a fact beyond disputing- he only wanted to give me three days to grieve. Yes, he knew that three days wasn't a realistic thing to ask- the emphasis he was portraying by even saying three days was on the fact he didn't want my life to stop the day he left it, he wanted my life to go on with a lot of smiles, with much laughter, with joy, with hope, with happiness. I already have Jerry's blessing to let go of the darkness that wants me to equate the depths of my love with the length and ways I mourn. Most importantly I have my Savior wanting to heal my broken heart. Heal me, Lord, heal me as only You can do.

I think part of my healing is going to be going back to my Bible Studies as I did them before Jerry passed on to His long sleep. No more dwelling on the loss in these writings. That doesn't mean I won't occasionally speak of Jerry and my life without him, but I can't let myself focus on that. Even as I write those words the darkness looms telling me that I'm horrible for even thinking it let alone really doing it- but I recognize the darkness for what it is, and I won't be bullied by it. I loved Jerry with my whole heart and nothing will ever change that, nothing. If I laugh instead of cry, that will not change my love for him. And if I cry without letting it consume me, that's okay too, it won't change my love for him. If I stop writing about my life with and without him so much, it won't change my love for him. I love him forever.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me and allowing me Jerry's love. Please keep on healing my broken heart with Your love, now and always! I love you, my Savior Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen.

A special thank you to all my friends and family who have encouraged me to grieve through my writing, your love is a blessing. I know you'll all understand, because you've understood my journey already. God bless you all! <3 

The Future Is Now Past.

 My husband had plans for his future. They weren't grand plans, but the plans one makes ordinarily in life. He found out his sister, Judy, her husband, Tom and Judy's friend, Lisa were all going to be visiting us in July. This was a very big surprise because we had grown used to their Christmas visits. Excited about this unexpected visit, Jerry immediately set to making plans. He asked his sister about where she'd be staying while visiting and when he learned she would be staying in a place right off the beach, he asked if there was wheelchair access. After being told there was an actual elevator up to their rented condo, Jerry told his sister he wanted to come out there to visit. He didn't do this for himself though. He knew it would be an ordeal for him even with wheelchair access, elevator and all. Jerry told Judy that he wanted to come out there so I would get a chance to go to the beach. He was thinking of me as he made his plans for the future.

The future he was planning is now the past. Today I was blessed when my sister, Beth along with her two grandchildren and her daughter, drove me out to the condo where Judy, Tom and Lisa were staying and we spent the day at the beach. From about 11am to 4pm I was out on the ocean water.

Did I want to go? My grief told me, no. My heart whispered, yes, do it because you know this is what Jerry wanted. I listened to my heart even as my grief brought tears for a while. The tears didn't last long. The peace of the ocean, the rush of the waves, the kindness and love of family took the place of tears and God blessed me today very richly.

I spent hours in the water sifting through sand for seashells and my efforts did not go unrewarded. As I searched for pretty shells I would pause often and look at the ocean and the great swells which would come barreling towards me, knocking against me with power that left me in awe. The beautiful blue sky was decorated wondrously with clouds intricately intertwined, feather brushed by a heavenly artist. The ocean breeze warred against the intense summer heat, mostly winning, keeping us cool enough under hats, and umbrellas upon shore. The day brought peace to my heart and I communed with God as I let the ocean and all my surroundings soothe my soul. My prayers went up often today, prayers of gratitude, gratefulness, thankfulness, love, hope, life.  Jerry wanted this for me, he wanted to be here when I came to the beach, but he sleeps in the purest peace now and suffers no more and this is a blessing for him, and for me knowing he is completely pain free. 

A very special thank you to Judy, Tom, Lisa, Elizabeth, Rayne, Lyla and Devlin for being a part of today's healing. God blessed me with all of you and I thank Him.  I love you!

******* (A letter written in 1894) 

Lt 65a, 1894   Mourning.

George’s Terrace, St. Kilda Road, Melbourne, Australia 

January 1, 1894 

This letter is published in entirety in 2SM 269-274. 

Dear Friends on Pitcairn Island: 

We were made very sad last Thursday to learn of your deep affliction. Our hearts are pained to hear of the deaths of those of our beloved Bro. McCoy’s family. Our sympathies go out to all who are bereaved by this affliction. We extend our sympathy to the children and members of the family who have been thus sorely bereaved, but we would point you to Jesus as your only hope and consolation. The dear companion of our afflicted Bro. McCoy, and the mother of the bereaved children whom she loved, is silent in death. But while we weep with those who weep, we joy at heart because this loved mother and daughter, and Bro. Young, the elder of your church, and others who may have been removed by death, believed in and loved Jesus. 

Let the words of the apostle Paul comfort you: “I would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that we sorrow not even as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord: wherefore comfort one another with these words.” [1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.] 

We are not like the heathen who have days and nights of mourning, when nothing is heard but dismal chanting of the praises of the dead, for the purpose of arousing human sympathy. We are not to clothe ourselves with mourning clothing, and wear a mournful countenance as though our friends and relatives were for ever parted from us. John exclaims, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors; and their works do follow them.” [Revelation 14:12, 13.] 

How appropriate are the words of John in the case of these loved ones who sleep in Jesus. The Lord loved them, and the words spoken by them in their life, their labors of love will be remembered, and will be repeated by others. Their earnest wholeheartedness in the work of God leaves an example for others to follow, for the Holy Spirit has worked in them to will and to do of His good pleasure. 

“But if the spirit of Him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Jesus from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His spirit that dwelleth in you.” [Romans 8:11.] O how precious are these words to every bereaved soul. Christ is our Guide and Comforter, who comforts us in all our tribulations. When He gives us a bitter draught to drink, He also holds a cup of blessing to our lips. He fills the heart with submission, with joy and peace in believing, and enables us to say submissively, “not my will, but thine, O Lord be done. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” [Luke 22:42; Job 1:21.] With this submission, hope is resurrected, and the hand of faith lays hold upon the hand of infinite power. “He that raised up Christ from the dead, shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His spirit that dwelleth in you.” 

The very bodies that are sown in corruption will be raised in incorruption. That which is sown in dishonor will be raised in glory; sown in weakness it will be raised in power; sown a natural body it will be raised a spiritual body. The mortal bodies are quickened by His Spirit that dwelleth in you. Christ claims all those as His who have believed in His name. The vitalizing power of the Spirit of Christ dwelling in the mortal body binds every believing soul to Jesus Christ. 

Those who believe in Jesus are sacred to His heart; for their life is hid with Christ in God. The command will come from the Life-giver, “Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs and the earth shall cast out her dead.” [Isaiah 26:19.] The Life-giver will call up His purchased possession in the first resurrection, and until that triumphant hour, when the last trump shall sound and the vast army shall come forth to eternal victory, every sleeping saint will be kept in safety and will be guarded as a precious jewel, who is known to God by name. By the power of the Saviour that dwelt in them while living, and because they were partakers of the divine nature, they are brought forth from the dead. 

Christ claimed to be the only begotten of the Father, but men encased in unbelief, barricaded with prejudice, denied the holy and the just One. He was charged with blasphemy, and was condemned to a cruel death, but He burst the fetters of the tomb, and rose from the dead triumphant, and over the rent sepulchre of Joseph He declared, “I am the resurrection and the Life.” [John 11:25.] All power in heaven and in earth was vested in Him, and the righteous will also come forth from the tomb free in Jesus. They shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world and the resurrection from the dead. “Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father.” [Matthew 13:43.] 

What a glorious morning will the resurrection morning be! What a wonderful scene will open when Christ shall come to be admired of them that believe! All who were partakers with Christ in His humiliation and sufferings will be partakers with Him in His glory. By the resurrection of Christ from the dead every believing saint who falls asleep in Jesus will come forth from his prison house in triumph. The resurrected saint will proclaim, “O death where is thy sting! O grave where is thy victory!” [1 Corinthians 15:55.] “If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so also those which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him.” [1 Thessalonians 4:14.] 

Jesus Christ has triumphed over death and rent the fetters of the tomb, and all who sleep in the tomb will share in the victory; they will come forth from their graves as did the conqueror, “for this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain shall not prevent those which are asleep. For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.” [Verses 15-18.] 

Dear afflicted ones, so sadly bereaved, God has not left you to be the sport of Satan’s temptations. Let your sorrowful hearts be opened to receive the words of consolation from your pitying Redeemer. Jesus loves you. Receive the bright beams of the Sun of Righteousness and be comforted. Thank Him who has risen from the dead, and who ever liveth to make intercession for you. Jesus Christ is a living Saviour. He is not in Joseph’s new tomb. He is risen, He is risen! Rejoice even in this your day of sorrow and bereavement that you have a Saviour who sympathizes with all your grief. He wept at the grave of Lazarus, and identifies His sorrows with those of the sorrowing children. In all your conflicts, in all the trials and perplexities of life, seek counsel first from God. 

The path of obedience to God is as a light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. Follow step after step in the path of duty. Steep places may have to be climbed, but go forward in the path of humility, of faith and self-denial, leaving the clouds of doubt behind you. Sorrow not in a hopeless way, for the living need your care and love. You have enlisted in the Lord’s army; be brave soldiers of Jesus Christ. Let words of penitence and grateful praise come up before God as sweet incense in His heavenly sanctuary. 

You may be disappointed, and your will and your way may be denied; but be assured that the Lord loves you. The furnace fire may kindle upon you, not for the purpose of destroying you; but to consume the dross, that you may come forth as gold seven times purified. Bear in mind that God will give you songs in the night. Darkness may seem to enclose you; but you are not to look at the clouds. Beyond the darkest cloud there is an everlasting light. The Lord has light for every soul. Open the door of the heart to hope, peace, and joy. Jesus says, “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” [John 15:11.] 

God has a special work for everyone to do, and each one of us may do well the work which God has assigned us. The only thing we have to fear on our part is that we shall not keep our eyes constantly fixed upon Jesus, that we shall not have an eye single to the glory of God, so that if we were called to lay down our armour and sleep in death we might not be ready to give account of our trust. Forget not for a moment that you are Christ’s property, bought with an infinite price, and that you are to glorify Him in your spirit, and in your body, which are His. 

To the afflicted ones I would say, Be of good comfort in the hope of the resurrection morning. The waters which you have been drinking are as bitter to your taste as were the waters of Marah to the children of Israel in the wilderness, but Jesus can make them so sweet with His love. When Moses presented before the Lord the sad difficulties of the children of Israel, He did not present some new remedy, but called their attention to that which was at hand, for there was a bush or shrub which He had created that was to be cast into the water to make the fountain sweet and pure. When this was done, the suffering people could drink of the water with safety and pleasure. 

God has provided a balm for every wound. There is a balm in Gilead, there is a physician there. Will you not now as never [before] study the Scriptures. Seek the Lord for wisdom in every emergency. In every trial plead with Jesus to show you a way out of your troubles, then your eyes will be opened to behold the remedy, and to apply to your case the healing promises that have been recorded in His Word. In this way the enemy will find no place to lead you into mourning and unbelief, but instead you will have faith, and hope, and courage in the Lord. 

The Holy Spirit will give you clear discernment that you may see and appropriate every blessing that will act as an antidote to grief, as a branch of healing to every draught of bitterness that is placed to your lips. Every draught of bitterness will be mingled with the love of Jesus, and in the place of complaining of the bitterness, you will realize that Jesus’ love and grace are so mingled with sorrow that it has been turned into holy, subdued, and sanctified joy. 

When Henry White, our eldest son, lay dying, he said, “A bed of pain is a precious place when we have the presence of Jesus.” When we are obliged to drink of the bitter waters, turn away from the bitter to the precious and bright. In trial, grace can give the human soul assurance, and when we stand at the death bed and see how the Christian can bear suffering and go through the valley of death, we gather strength and courage to work, and [we] fail not, [neither are we] discouraged in leading souls to Jesus. 

Confronted With My Life.

 

You Are In All My Tomorrows, Lord.

 One Month Later- 

And now reality has to set in. Is there such a thing as being unable to afford to grieve? There has to be. When you don't have to worry about finances and ALL that encompasses (almost every facet of life), you can afford to let other things take precedence. My grief is caught up in my fear. This strange mixture has one pushing against the other. My grief screams for me to just forget about my fear and mourn without obstruction. My fear growls in reply that I have to let grief go and start buckling down and get to the business of trying to untangle the intricacies of my life. How do I go from being a partner in semi-financial control of my present and supposed future, to being a total dependent upon my child? How do I get my brain to share my heart and believe it isn't a horrible thing to do to your child? A burden, who wants to be a burden? And fear and confusion scream back - what other choice do you have? It wasn't supposed to be this way…  Yet, why would I delude myself it could be any other way? It's not like I ever supported myself- ever. It wasn't wrong to be supported by my husband- I was his wife, his caregiver for many years, I was the homemaker, the old fashioned dependent and now… I am no longer a wife, homemaker, caregiver.  When he left I lost my entire way of living. Is it any wonder I'm drowning, gasping for air? How easy it would be to cling to the despair and let it overwhelm me as it has been constantly threatening to do.  I can't though, I can't. Despair is a creature daily nipping at my heels, but it will NOT take over. My grief is allowed, even the poorest of the poor can be allowed to grieve. Fear will not rob me of my mourning. They may mingling together if they must- one may try to gain the upper hand over the other, each succeeding in their own turns- but never will either mourning or grief bring me to despair. My God is in control. 

Mat 6:33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 

Mat 6:34  Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

I am seeking FIRST your kingdom God.

I am seeking FIRST your righteousness God.

I am struggling not to WORRY about tomorrow.

I am struggling to believe tomorrow will take care of itself.

I know every day has enough evil of itself that I shouldn't borrow evil from tomorrow.

1Pe 5:6  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 

1Pe 5:7  Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I'm humbling myself, Lord. I know all these things are out of my hands, out of my control. Wherever I've failed and there have been many failures, I can only plead for forgiveness for each and every one. I kneel before You, I know all my righteousness amounts to nothing more than filthy rags. I'm casting ALL my care upon You, my God… all my care. Every single care, the monstrously overwhelming cares, the lesser ones, and even the smallest cares. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know whatever comes along with tomorrow, You will be there- caring for me! There may be horrors I haven't even thought of and perhaps that's good- not thinking of the horrors- but YOU will be in all my tomorrows! You will be there, my God! You will be there telling me that I must believe this world of sorrows is only temporary. My fears are there and must be cast aside as they come up. It's not that I won't fear, but when the fears arise they should be met with You. I must depend upon You. Take all my cares, LORD, take all my cares.

I know I will grieve alongside all of what my tomorrows hold- but You are there LORD with Your promises, Your caring for me. 

You are in all my tomorrows, however many there may be, thank you, Lord, thank you.