Today I received a sympathy card in the mail and no, it's not the first sympathy card I've received, God has blessed me greatly in this way, but for some reason I was completely overcome with emotion. The tears came hard and fast, and I was distraught in a way that took me by surprise. You see, I've been getting better lately, you know, getting a handle on things. Yet today, well, if I'm being completely truthful, the entire day had been an off one. Things just felt different somehow. Even Matthew told me today when he came home from work that things are just hard. We were both having particularly trying days not from outside influence but inside, heart hard things. While death is a normal part of living, it's still wrong and anyone who believes otherwise, well, I don't know what to say to them.
In the Garden of Eden, Satan seduced Eve into sin and the result was death. We weren't created to die. This horror named death steals people from us, steals those who mean so much to us. Death is vile and something to be HATED! Yes, I know it's a part of life and as such we have to accept that it is, but we do not have to let our acceptance rob of us the tragedy of death. We are meant to despise death with every part of our being. Death is a reminder of the first sin by mankind. Sin-Death closed the Garden of Eden and took immortality from us. Worst of all, Sin-Death caused a separation between us and God! God in His mercy stepped in and offered us a way to defeat ETERNAL death. We would suffer here and now, we would die because sin's result is death, but we would not be forsaken in that death. We were given hope and that hope is found in Jesus Christ, the God who died so we could live eternally. When that last trump sounds and Christ returns, the dead in Him will rise to meet Him in the air! They will RISE! They will LIVE! They will put on IMMORTALITY! Yes, I'm shouting, I know I'm shouting, but I have to shout because it is that knowledge, that HOPE, that breathes life into me right now.
Yes, I cried today at the love shown to me in the special hand written words of that card, because those words were of Jesus' love.
I cried and then I called my sister and cried some more. She reminded me that I'm still on the rollercoaster of grief- and the thing is- she reminded me that I'm not just grieving for my husband alone. This rollercoaster is uniquely designed just for me and as its sole occupant I have access to all its many cars. On this rollercoaster I may take the front car and as it ascends this front car named, Jerry, surrounds me completely. Then a loop-de-loop later I'm flung into a middle car named, Mom. Before too long another crazy side twist and I'm tossed into a car named Michele, And so it goes. The grief I'm going through brings up many older, less wild rides through death's past and my sister told me it's okay… it's okay to cry for them all.
I'm no longer spending entire days on the rollercoaster, but every day it shows up and takes me for a spin around the incredible, ever changing track. Some days I'm taken for a ride or two. Some days they're short rides, other days long ones. It's going to be this way for a bit and I know it, and I don't have to like it. I absolutely do not have to like the rollercoaster designed by death. I can accept not liking it, and cling to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He'll join me every time I get on the rollercoaster, a fellow passenger I can bury my face against and hold tight to on the anything but smooth rides. He'll hold me tight always, filling me with hope. I know His promise that one day there will be no more death is very real, I believe in Him and all His promises!
I love you, Lord! I love you, all of you who have taking time out of your lives to think of me in all the many ways you have! Each and every one of you is a blessing, and I pray you are blessed for your kindness!
My study today was going to be on the following Bible verses- but that will be tomorrow if God wills. Tonight I had to write what was on my heart once more.
God bless us all! In the name of our most loving Savior, Jesus Christ our Lord, now and forever!!!!!!! Thank you, Lord! Amen!
Joh 10:1-
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.
This parable spake Jesus unto them: but they understood not what things they were which he spake unto them.
Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep. And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.
There was a division therefore again among the Jews for these sayings. And many of them said, He hath a devil, and is mad; why hear ye him? Others said, These are not the words of him that hath a devil. Can a devil open the eyes of the blind?
And it was at Jerusalem the feast of the dedication, and it was winter. And Jesus walked in the temple in Solomon's porch. Then came the Jews round about him, and said unto him, How long dost thou make us to doubt? If thou be the Christ, tell us plainly.
Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him.
No comments:
Post a Comment