Excess Past.

 Right now, in light of my husband's recent passing I am fighting with wanting to cling tightly to the past, so tightly I find myself terrified of the present and future. Yes, the passing of my husband is very recent, a month on the fifth and as I write this it is only a few hours away to the day, but several hours from the time of his death on that day. Even though it is so recent, I've never felt so pulled to want to look to the past- the recent past is still the past. I want to hold fast to the life I had before Jerry left my life. Almost everything inside me screams that I don't want anything more to change in my life. Everything right here and right now has changed simply because of His being gone, but the thought that I could lose my entire way of life as I've known it - lose even the place where we've lived for the last twenty years- is almost overwhelming. I know this happens to people all the time, all the time- my situation is not unique, but knowing it happens all the time doesn't make it any easier. The Bible tell me - God tells me- to forget the past. There is no footnote next to that passage saying to forget only the distant past. We are to forget the things that are behind us, pressing forward in Christ. Truly I need to press on towards Christ. My treasures I know should be laid up in heaven, not here on earth. All my possessions are but things- and I know all too well that I will not be able to take one thing I own to the grave, not a single thing. Resurrection day must be my hope. I must press on because not to press on would be living in the past, and while it's a nice place to visit from time to time as they say- it's not a place to live. Recent past, distant past, all of it is time spent, time gone. We live in the here and now and holdfast to hope of our future with Christ.

Forget the things in the past, reach towards what is to come. This is told to us by the Apostle Paul, this is told to us through the Holy Spirit. A lot of people give this advice. They say you can't change the past, your past mistakes, your past sins, your past failings- the things that you would change if you could- the regrets you have, and all people have them. Some, however, let their regrets weight heavy upon them to their detriment. They dwell on the past lamenting the things that revealed great flaws in their character. Even momentary lapses in judgment can haunt a person for a long time should they allow. That's the thing, we allow ourselves to dwell wherever we choose- the past, the present, the future. One thing is sure though, Satan would have us dwell wherever he gains the most control over us. I know some people do not believe that Satan is real, let alone able to influence us, but if you believe in Jesus then you must believe in Satan. After forty days in the wilderness after His baptism, Jesus was tempted by Satan. Satan is real, and he has influence in our lives. We pray to be kept from evil and that evil stems from Satan. 

When Paul, guided by the Holy Spirit, wrote that forgetting the past was one thing we needed to comprehend, he was speaking God's truth.

Satan would use the past against us in any way possible. Satan would even allow us and encourage us to dwell on the good in the past so much so it becomes a problem, blocking out the hope in the future.  We don't generally believe that good things can be bad for us, but they can in excess. Excess of the past… we must look forward… even now. 

Php 3:8  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 

Php 3:9  And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 

Php 3:10  That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 

Php 3:11  If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. 

Php 3:12  Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 

Php 3:14  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

Php 3:15  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 

The knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.

That I may win Christ.

Be found in him.

Righteousness which is of God by faith.

That I may know him.

The power of His resurrection.

Fellowship of his suffering. 

By any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

I'm not perfect- now, in the resurrection I will be.

Everyone- understand one thing- 

Forget the past.

Look to the future.

Work towards the prize- only found in Christ Jesus.

If you would be perfect, if I would be perfect-- think this way.

God will show you if you are not understanding His ways. 

God's will be done, now and always! All through Jesus Christ our Lord, our Savior, now and forever!!!!!!!  Amen.