7/10/83
(Excerpts from--)
Practice the Presence of God - By Brother Lawrence Fleming
'We should establish ourselves in a sense of God's presence by continually conversing with Him.'
'When he had failed in his duty he only confessed his fault saying to God, I shall never do otherwise if You leave me to myself it is You who must hinder my failing and mend what is amiss…After this he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.'
(Thinking about that- the Presence of God, I believe we rely way too much on feelings. I don't feel it- I don't feel right - I feel this way, I feel that way. It's all about our feelings isn't it?
Sometimes being around someone that doesn't seem to rely on feelings but exists more in the neutral manner of acceptance that life is just this way and so be it, makes it hard to understand. The tendency to want to pick at the whys and wherefores, to distrust that there can be an acceptance of things that really there is unhappiness, non-contentment there. We are so hyped up about our feelings that to live in such a way makes us *boring or *odd.
We are promoting being in touch with our feelings more and more. On the popular websites Myspace and Facebook they both have places for people to express their current feelings. This is supposed to promote interaction with others. If you see a friend is sad it encourages others to uplift them. If you are happy it encourages the sharing of that happiness.
The other day I was at my mother's house helping her out with a few computer things and she wanted me to set up her Myspace so it was book-marked for easy access. While I was doing that she saw where others were writing about their various feelings and happenings - and asked where she could put hers in. I showed her and asked her what she wanted me to put in for her right then and she said 'I don't know.' So that's what I put in there. She obviously wasn't exceptionally caught up in recognizing an emotion she might be feeling at the moment. And you know what, that's not so bad. Some might think it is, they might instantly be concerned that she's not in touch with herself. But rather than that, I'm choosing to believe it's her not being caught up in how she feels.
When we do Practice the Presence of God in our lives we have to separate it from how we might be feeling or it'll become dependent upon that feeling. When we depend on our feelings to Practice the Presence of God then we can be sure that there are going to be headed our way a lot of negative feelings that will make us not believe we can Practice the Presence of God.
This from that book- 'We should establish ourselves in a sense of God's presence by continually conversing with Him.'
Is true. And it's a conversing that needs to go beyond feeling 'right' with God. It has to be a knowledge of God's presence as being with us no matter what. We don't have to wait to feel a thing, we can believe and have faith beyond the feelings we'd like to have.
And this-
'When he had failed in his duty he only confessed his fault saying to God, I shall never do otherwise if You leave me to myself it is You who must hinder my failing and mend what is amiss…After this he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.'
Is this acceptable? It has to be doesn't it? We get so caught up in our faults, our failures, and it does seem overwhelming, as if we'll never cease to fail. If we count on ourselves for success it's just as well we fail in order that we know we can't find success on our own, of our own accord. We HAVE to have God with us, we have to rely on God to mend whatever is amiss inside us. We have to surrender ourselves to God for that mending. If we get caught up in worrying over our inability to succeed we will never let God work in us, we'll constantly be waiting for the power on our own to succeed. We'll take pride in that success and attribute it to ourselves. Much better to remember always that it is God working in us to fix our failings.
The part about, 'After this he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.' Is that trust? It must be. To worry over something after confessing it and entrusting our need to God is pointless. It only shows a lack of faith in God truly hearing and helping us.
It seems to be in our nature to worry over things, to feel uneasiness about things, but we truly have to give to God and trust beyond our understanding. We might not understand one whit how things might be healed, helped, or changed but we aren't called to understand, we are called to trust, to believe. To realize our place as creatures and God's place as Creator.)
(Please note- information taken from my old notebooks may be altered by me to take what I think is pertinent from among all that is written. All additional writing which will be my current thoughts on past writings will be in parentheses. Thank you.)
By the grace and mercy of Christ Jesus now and forever! Amen.
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