Luk_9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come
after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
DENY OURSELVES if we
would follow our SAVIOR.
I've studied this
before and I'll study it again and again, and again. Why? Because I need to.
Just today I had a
bit of a self-revelation. My selfishness is WORSE than I ever imagined. I grew up self focused in a bad way. Maybe a
lot of us do. We tend to take the stings of bullying to the heart as children and
because we are too young to make sense of things as an adult can we internalize
this and it shapes our self-view. We, as children, tend to believe what the
bullies say- even it it's not true. And the bullies don't have to be strangers-
some of us have family members who bully us, people who are supposed to love us
and watch out for us. Anyway, I 'm not going to talk about bullying or make
excuses, I'm just trying to comprehend the origin of my extreme selfishness or
at least the part of it I was enlightened about today. I focus on myself and my appearance way too
much. And while you might say we all do, I say… you could be right, I don't
know I just know me- a little bit anyway. I let my appearance govern my life. I
don't want attention from anyone because I believe the attention will be
negative, because I see only negative.
So, I look at myself and concentrate on myself and my flaws and they
consume me. THIS IS SELFISHNESS. I am self focused! Far from denying myself- I
look at myself and hold myself up to the standards of the world. I am flawed, extremely flawed. I live my life
constantly wanting to fix some of these flaws so much so it's a daily desire
and a daily failing, and when it's not a daily failing it's a daily self
chastisement for the self congratulating for not failing. Such a vicious circle
and it revolves around me which it shouldn't.
As Christ followers
we are to DENY OURSELVES- and we are to LOVE GOD and LOVE OTHERS, not develop
some warped self-love that we justify by saying something like we can't love
others unless we love ourselves. The truth is, we are to TREAT others- LOVE others- as WE DESIRE to be
loved. We are not to love ourselves in
the way so many think we should. We are lovable ONLY through CHRIST'S love not
some love we manufacture.
We truly do need to
deny ourselves and ALL that means. We can't keep focusing on ourselves- our
feelings, our looks, our everything and start FOCUSING on GOD and OTHERS. The
time we spend wrapped up in self goes beyond being stingy with our money, or
our time, or our services. Please God,
help me to deny myself DAILY and put YOU FIRST, and put OTHERS FIRST. Please,
LORD through the HOLY SPIRIT and by the grace and mercy of Your Son, Jesus
Christ our LORD now and forever.
Amen.
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